Gifts for BF/GF?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Gifts for BF/GF?
6
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 11:01am

OK, I have those late bloomin' boys here so am clueless on this relationship thing!

When do you buy for the BFs and GFs(Im thinking of the dating kind)?

How much do you spend relative to what you spend on your own kids? Is it a token? Does it go up with years of togetherness?

Have you thought ahead to what you will do when they marry(I know some of you are light years away but some of you are THERE)

I've got DS1 living with the GF for the 2nd Xmas. We bought her a token gift last year and her mom bought him something really expensive. DS2 has a serious GF for the first time.

Help!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 11:43am

Not quite the same situation, just some ideas. 19 year old dd has been dating her b/f for just a little over two years, this is their 3rd Christmas. Being that they are only teenagers, not engaged or anything, I never thought it appropriate to give expensive gifts. I have always gotten him either mall gift cards or movie gift passes and a box of his favorite candy. He loves food!!!!
His parents are the same way, nothing fancy, one year got her a frame with a picture of the two of them taken at their house and the other time they got her a pillow with her breed of dog on. We always said when we see a ring, then the gifts will get a little more expensive hahahaha.

Have a great Holiday season!!

Andie

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 11:51am

For my dds' BF's I've always just bought some small token gift. For instance, one year I gave dd19's bf one those cushy pillows that you can really mash and smush - he loved it! I also gave him a candle of his favorite band. DD17's bf we gave a package of blank CDs' because he's always downloading and burning music. And we gave him a GC for Hot Topic, his favorite store. He was also very happy. I think we spent total $35/bf.

DD19 just called me last night wondering what to get her bf (he's a new guy she met at college, so it's only been about 2 months). I suggested a sweatshirt of hoodie, but she complained that he only wears abercrombie or Hollister clothing and it's too expensive. So, then I suggested a basket of dorm foods along with maybe a shaving kit. She didn't like that as she felt it was too 'mommish'. lol. I really don't know what to tell her other than a GC to a local place like Panera Bread or something.

DD17 bought her BF a keychain with his Coat of Arms on it from an Irish goods store. She also bought him a silver celtic cross. Not bad, total it cost her about $40, which is plenty IMO.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 12:34pm

I think the value of the gift definitely goes up the longer the relationship. If it's a fairly new relationship, then I think a token gift (bubble bath, gloves, scarf, candy, etc.) are good ideas.

Maybe for the older DS gf, something a little more personal -- some nice earrings or another piece of jewelry maybe.

I think when DH and I were dating, my parents bought him a box of his favorite chocolate truffles and a book by an author he likes. I don't remember what his parents bought me, so it was probably just a token gift.

 

 

 

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 1:11pm

Well, I must be an awful mom. I've never gotten one of the boys' g/f a Christmas present, not until they had been dating awhile. I got ds20's g/f a gift last year, but they had been dating for 2 years by then. And, honestly, I do NOT remember what I got her, but I know it wasn't extravagant. Probably bath oil stuff or colonge or something like that. This year, I will spend quite a bit more, but for other reasons besides just the fact that she is his g/f. Now, as to what one of my boys wants to get their g/f for Christmas is up to them, providing they have the money for whatever it is they want to buy.

If the gf/bf is going to be in attendence during package opening, then I suppose you really should buy them *something*, but I would definitely go with the token gift, especially for a new bf/gf. I hadn't thought of it that way, but yes, I guess the $$ of the gift would go up with years of togetherness.

Now, once they get married (or officially engaged) then I would think I would treat them as one of my own, gift-giving wise. (I *think* I would, but I'm not there yet, so that remains to be seen!)

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 1:29pm

I think the whole point of giving is more about how you feel about that person and what you're comfortable with...not about what you 'should' give, etc. I'm totally with you on having a brief waiting period to see, gee, how long is this bf/gf going to last?? lol-

Since both of my dds' have new bf's, I wasn't planning on getting either of them anything. One of them I won't even see and the other I think is a passing thing.

I do have a tendency to want to love up everyone and make them a part of our family, so I have to be careful at times, you know? DD17's best friend is always at our home, she eats with us, she even comes over when dd isn't there sometimes just to chat; if she has a problem she needs help with, she will come to me. I feel compelled to buy her something for Christmas, I just do. DD19 also has a close friend who we kind of adopted as our own 'token' son! I will also buy him something as well. This year, since he's at college, I will probably put together a food bin for him along with some personal care items.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 7:35am

The first Christmas S & C were together they'd been dating 7 months and were seniors in hs, and I got her some candles.