Gifts for Sweet 16?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Gifts for Sweet 16?
13
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 12:09pm

What sort of gifts do you give for a girl celebrating her Sweet 16? In a rather big way?

DD is going to a sweet 16 next weekend and when she asked the bday girl what sort of gift she would like, the bday girl listed things like Juicy Couture sweats, a Coach handbag and some other couture items I think I'll let her parents buy for her.

The Sweet 16 party involves a limousine ride to Disneyland, dinner and tickets for the night at the park, overnight at the DLand hotel, breakfast the next day, limo home, etc. DD would like to give the bday girl a nice gift but the gifts bday girl has in mind are not any I'm inclined to buy.

Thoughts?

 

 

 

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Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 12:22pm

Well, ordinarily, we give gifts we can afford. In the case of a fancy schmancy Sweet 16 party like the one you describe, I'd probably split the cost with dd and give either cash ($50) or a GC to a store where the birthday girl can choose her own gift.

You could get a GC to a local day spa for a reflexology session, they usually only cost between $35-$50 and they last about 45 minutes and are quite a nice indulgence. Or, a facial or pedi/mani. Something that is nice but not over the top.

Please excuse my bitterness, but just because the parents feel the need to go over the top doesn't mean all the guests must as well. People can obviously celebrate thier children's milestone birthdays as they see fit, but I think it's rude for the birthday girl to list such expensive items. A more gracious response would have been something along the lines of, "I'm sure I will love whatever you choose"!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 12:32pm

<>

Oh, ITA. Even if we could afford to buy these pricey things, I wouldn't for that exact reason. It is a sad fact that a lot of DD's school mates feel a sense of entitlement. The location of the school campus is in one of the priciest areas in the county and there are a lot of 'rich kids' with wealthy parents who indulge them. We live an hour away from the campus so we're just not in that league. (I think I'm trying to defend myself here! lol)

I like the spa certificate idea. It seems like it might be a good fit for this girl!

Thanks for the suggestion.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 12:36pm

As usual, my thoughts are 100% in agreement with hearts. Holy smokes, I wouldn't dream of asking a friend to pay for such big ticket items. What is with kids these days? I'm sure her thoughts are running along the lines of "I'm having this huge expensive party and you get to come along, so pay up, bubba."

I agree a giftcard or cold, hard cash...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 12:55pm

In the bday girls' defense, she is from another culture and it is quite possible she didn't realize she was committing a big social faux pas with her response. Plus, I think DD asked her "what do you want for your birthday?" and the bday girl was just being honest about what she really did want.

Anyhoo, like I said, those are gifts her parents can buy for her -- if they can afford to after the bday bash. I'm just looking for some reasonable alternatives, that are still nice gifts!

Edited to add:

P.S.: Girls didn't have 'Sweet 16' parties when I was growing up, I sure didn't have one, I've never been to one, neither has DD, SHE's not 16 yet, so this is all new to us. The closet I've come to a Sweet 16 is that silly show on television!




Edited 11/30/2006 1:00 pm ET by hydrangea_blue

 

 

 

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 1:12pm

Nope; no sweet 16 birthdays when I was growing up either.

But this girl reminds me of two people who regrettably are my age (40's/50) - my cousin got married a 2nd time at about age 23 (so yeah, she was much younger at the time) and actually put a washer and dryer on her registry - I thought it was bad enough to register a 2nd time!

And my BIL, who we have for Christmas this year, asked for things that are like $125+ on up to $300, or even something like 'a new garage', when we'd all set up the max at $75 years ago for the family member you buy for that year...he says this is his 'wish list' but sheesh - I wouldn't dream of putting that kind of thing on a list to begin with.

Sue

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 1:34pm

I grew up on the middle class blue collar side of town but went to school in an extremely wealthy, upper class, new money area. Those kids were getting brand spanking new TransAms with big giant bows on it for thier 16th birthdays ALONG with the huge party blowout! I totally know what you're up agains. As a parent, I can sure sympathize with what my parents must have been going through when I was coming of age!

Even where we live now, many of the parents raise thier kids with that sense of entitlement you refer to and it nauseates me and has caused endless heated discussions with dd19 - she's the one who feels that she needs to "keep up with the Jones's" but at least with dd17, she could give rat's you-know-what about that kind of stuff!

And honestly, I don't think this has anything to do with culture. Sweet 16's, proms, Jack-n-Jill parties, etc, have all gotten out of hand, IMO.

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 1:36pm

>>>The closet I've come to a Sweet 16 is that silly show on television!>>>

I think that's where half these girls get the idea that they are entitled to such affairs. I'm all for celebrating the day they were born, but c'mon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2005
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 6:36pm

I'm afraid I'm right behind you on this one Julie - DD15 has already told me that a few of her gf's are going to have sweet 16s. So far our talks have focussed on the need for dresses (LOL) - I'm lucky that my DD will see a challenge in getting cool looking clothes at great bargains and no one knowing the difference!

Anyway, as for your immediate problem. I liked the spa certificate idea - you could dress it up with some cute stuff from Claire's or Bath and Body Works. But I agree with you and other posters that just because a parent wants to indulge, that doesn't mean the gifts have to!

Another possiblity would be for a few girls to chip in - DD did that for a girl who wanted a Coach Bag - 5 kids chipped in for it, and then stuffed it with a few (inexpensive) girly things.

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 7:04pm

hmmmm...All I can think of, is something related to driving.
From what you describe, this 16 yr. old will be getting her very own Maserati MC12 soon.
How 'bout a package including a nice key chain, sunglasses, driving gloves, etc..?

The entire overblown 16 thing is a bit of a mystery to me, as with coach bags and other various and sundry female items.... :-)
Sorry...Not much help from this old curmudgeon....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 9:09pm

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Me too. Perhaps even the parents? Did you see the episode where the bday girl and her mother flew to Paris to buy a dress for her party? That isn't the school DD attends, but it's just down the road apiece.

 

 

 

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