Going to college next year

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2011
Going to college next year
23
Fri, 09-09-2011 - 12:39pm

I was wondering if anyone has a child who had poor study habits in HS, but did well in college? My DD is currently applying to colleges. She has been LAZY throughout HS. No one seems to notice this (or care) except me. She NEVER studies or prepares for anything and is a terrible procrastinator. She is not a bad student (she's a fairly good student, actually), but she would rather spend 4 hours at her boyfriend's and make a B on an exam, than spend 1 hour studying and get an A. I just don't see how this translates to college in any way. She took the ACT one time and got a 30. That is a good score, but not good enough to get top scholarship $. (The college she wanted required at least a

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2011
Fri, 09-09-2011 - 9:00pm

Good point! She actually does have a job (sort of). She works at a fast food place, but generally only gets about about 6-8 hours/wk. There are lots of kids in town and fast food restaurants are about the only places that will hire kids. So, there are several kids for each job and they don't get many hours. We have a friend who owns his own business and has said that she is welcome to work in his shipping dept part-time and could probably get about twice that many hours, but she doesn't want to work with a bunch of "old people"...boohoo. (plus it's about a 20 min drive, which is a better excuse...but not by much)

"I cannot understand why anyone would CONTINUE to give their child an all-expense-paid vacation away from Mom & Dad after they blow the first semester, but hey, that's me."

ME TOO!!!! Why throw good money after bad? Her dad gives her

Avatar for suzyk2118
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Registered: 07-30-1997
Fri, 09-09-2011 - 9:38pm
Well, we told him that he's now on his own; we're not looking at grades, we're not keeping tabs on homework, etc. (not that we did other than early in HS). We told him if he got a certain grade level (which he did once per semester) he had to pay for the class. He had enough in pin money we'd saved over the years to pay for one, but not for the 2nd (he's at an expensive private U) so he's now in debt. He now knows we mean it and hopefully it won't happen again. On the 2nd one, I told him I didn't think he was doing the smartest thing by how he was approaching that class - he told me, "Mom, I want to make my own mistakes." So he did. And now he realizes it wasn't smart. I'm hoping he learned from it.

I'm the one with the drive; he's nothing like me when it comes to grades. That also took some getting used to.

Does she have drive to major in something particular? Maybe part of it is being unsure of what she wants to do? If this rings true at all, it might make sense to go to a U she's interested in and have her talk to the counselors there for a couple of reasons - one to say that it's perfectly normal for many kids to have no clue what they want to do with themselves at this stage, and another to show that they are great at helping sort that out.

Sue
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 09-09-2011 - 10:50pm

I think you might be kind of unrealistic about scholarships and/or financial aid basically covering 75% of college tuition/room & board (if that is what I am reading here).

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2011
Sat, 09-10-2011 - 1:31am

The school with the best reputation for sciences in the state is private and has a tuition of $35,000, so yeah, THAT'S out! We are looking exclusively at in-state public universities. The largest state school is about $24,000/yr total

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 09-10-2011 - 10:04am

You are talking scholarships but are you also considering loans?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Sat, 09-10-2011 - 8:41pm

I was a lazy student in HS. I remember saying several times, "why should I work for the A when I can get a B by doing nothing?" I did well on the SATs and what were then called achievement tests, and got into some good schools. But my first semester in college, I did really badly and was horrified. For the first time, I realized I'd have to work at it. I have to say that most of my peers had much better study habits than I did. It was a steep learning curve.

I don't know if this happens to every lazy student, but shame was a huge factor for me. I had always prided myself on being the smart kid who didn't apply herself, when all of a sudden, I no longer had the evidence of this, because my first semester grades were so poor. I felt like the mediocre student who didn't belong. So bad grades were a huge motivating factor for me to get my act together.

For some kids, it's guilt that their parents are borrowing money to send them to school, likely depriving themselves and possibly siblings.

But if you don't think either of these scenarios are likely to apply to your DD, then I would just encourage her to go to a state school or community college until she shows some discipline.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2011
Sat, 09-10-2011 - 11:12pm

"I don't know if this happens to every lazy student, but shame was a huge factor for me."

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 09-11-2011 - 10:59am

YOu might be surprised--it depends on what she studies, but at the beginning of college everybody is taking the easiest courses, plus some electives, so maybe she'll breeze through still--but when the classes start to get more advanced, then she'll be in for a shock.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Sun, 09-11-2011 - 1:20pm

I seem to remember her spending all evening at her bf's house, getting home @9 pm (after I called and told her to come home)

Last year, she got a 68 on an exam after deciding to go out with friends the night before instead of studying 

She works at a fast food place, but generally only gets about about 6-8 hours/wk. 

she is welcome to work in his shipping dept part-time and could probably get about twice that many hours, but she doesn't want to work with a bunch of "old people"...boohoo. (plus it's about a 20 min drive) 

Frankly, I see a trend here that goes far beyond "lazy student".

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2011
Sun, 09-11-2011 - 5:27pm

I know. That's kinda why I started the thread, to see if anybody else's kid was doing this sort of thing...or if it was just me.