Going Crazy!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2012
Going Crazy!
10
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 12:26am
Im new and am looking for a place to rant and also get some advice and insight. My hubby is out of town with one of our teens on a school trip. This leaves me with two teens to keep an eye on myself. Our oldest is 18 and will probably fail his senior year in HS despite the fact he is the smartest. Our youngest is 14 and she has always been the kind, dependable one but has changed over the past few months. She is constantly trying to start stuff with me and is complaining about every little thing I ask her to do. They have minimal chores to do, yet flip out on me for the stupidest reasons. I feel like they hate me or something. And the one who is with her father right now, she is the most problematic out of all of them. Constantly lying, cheating, getting in big trouble all of the time. PLEASE tell me it will get better as they get older. I don't want them growing up to hate me, but I can't let the, be lazy/ irresponsible. I don't know what to do...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2012
In reply to: snowzee
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 10:03am

I know it seems counterintuitive - but you need to be harder on them.

Humans will naturally push to the limit to see what the limit is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
In reply to: snowzee
Wed, 03-14-2012 - 10:21pm

I wanted to add this to what I typed yesterday.

Please don’t think I was making fun of you or criticizing you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
In reply to: snowzee
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 10:12pm

When I read of these stories, I always think of a comedian whose name escapes me.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
In reply to: snowzee
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 4:56pm

You <>>.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: snowzee
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 4:47pm

I'd say w/ the 18 yr old maybe he will care when he doesn't graduate high school w/ his friends.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
In reply to: snowzee
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 4:04pm
The youngest one sounds for hte most part just an age thing, though it could easily be that he/she is seeing the way the older two are acting and feeling that its easy to follow suit.

The middle one, personally, I would have still cancelled the trip and then made her pay you back the money you lost by earning it either through a job or chores around the house, plain and simple.

As for the oldest one, I tend to agree with bunnierose, a good bit of flipping burgers or doing another job to earn money might help him with his attitude towrds school, especially when he finally realizes all his griends are going to graduate and leave him behind while he's working his butt of 40 hours a week at McDonald's to support himself.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2012
In reply to: snowzee
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 1:36pm
Thanks to all for the replies. Our son who is failing simply not doing his homework. When he turns it in he gets good grades, but in Algebra alone he has about six "0s". We take him to tutoring, took him to a psychiatrist, etc. absolutely nothing changed. He barely passed last year, and this year I don't think he's going to make it. He is very lazy and just doesn't seem to care. He a good kid in general, though. Very respectful of other adults and teachers and does like to help, just not around the house. Our 16 year old daughter had been ok for a little while so we decided to let her go on this $2000 trip. Of course once enough time had passed to where we couldn't get our money back she decided she was going to smoke pot, bring alcohol to school, sleep with some guy we don't know while her father and I were at work, and hang out with horrible girls at school. We have not raised her this way at all so I just don't get it. She does, however make excellent grades in school. Our 14 year old is an A/B student who is in orchestra, basketball and track and has never had any issues. Over the past couple of months she has become so argumentative. Talking back and giving attitude all of the time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: snowzee
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 12:29pm

It's really hard to know what to say w/ the minimal details.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
In reply to: snowzee
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 11:56am

I agree with everything Rose said, but wanted to add--just because a child is intelligent , doesn't mean they cannot ALSO have a learning disability, be ADD, have Executive Dysfunction, be BiPolar, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
In reply to: snowzee
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 7:10am

It WILL get better as they get older, if for no other reason than they move out and you no longer have to watch their bad choices first hand.