Going to funerals
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|Thu, 09-13-2012 - 11:07pm|
I'm divorce and right now my exH is down in Fla seeing to some rental property he has there. I live near Boston w/ 17 yr old DS. So tonight while I was out exH called DS to tell him that ex's aunt died & he should go to the funeral on Sat. to "represent" him. I assume the wake is tomorrow night but I am taking DS & his friend to a concert. Son says "I should feel bad but I really don't since I don't even know this aunt." I actually liked her a lot--she was the youngest of my ex MIL's sisters. Ironically she lived very close to me but even when we were married, we might have seen my ex's extended family on Christmas and then maybe on some big occsion like a wedding. I feel like if he cared about his aunt so much, why didn't we ever visit her or invite her over? And if my son showed up at the funeral by himself, his dad's cousins literally would not know who he was since my ex really never even hangs out w/ his cousins--so I kind of think it's odd that he wants our son to go to the funeral. I actually wouldn't mind going since I did know the aunt and know his cousins. But again, I think it's more important to be visiting people when they are alive and I don't really get the point of making son go to a funeral of someone he might have met once in his life.
He also wants son to go to ex's brother & SIL's 25th anniv. party. I can see that more since he does know his uncle & aunt. I can also see son's side of the story of not wanting to go too. He has no cousins his age. He has one cousin (girl) a couple of years older who is very odd--no one has ever explained her behavior but I'd guess that she has Asperger's. Other than that, he has a boy cousin who's 25 and who probably won't go anyway. My DD lives out of state so she won't be around and I don't even know if his father will be back by then--I feel like if he thinks it's so important, maybe he should come home from Florida & go himself. The party is in a hall & I don't really know what they are going to do other than have food. I'm sure he would rather be doing things w/ his friends so personally I wouldn't make him go but it's not my family. I am going even though I"m an ex.