A good book on puberty for my son?
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| Sun, 03-04-2007 - 5:38pm |
Hello all, I realize your kids are already teens but am wondering if you can recommend a good book on puberty for an almost 12 year old boy. I have no trouble chatting with him about anything at all but dh will not go into the birds and the bees talk so it looks like its up to me and since I've never been a 12 yr old boy...I need some help! He knows where babies come from, how they got there, PMS - apparently the girls at school ask each other if they have PMS when they are not getting along. I would love a good book esp with emphasis on male puberty; I'll have a read then give it to him and we can maybe both mark off subjects we'd like to discuss more.
I found it interesting browsing through the posts here....wow, I sure have a lot to look forward (and not) look forward to.
My son has already told me what kind of teen he plans to be...."I'll probably give you and Dad a hard time, you know, talking back and arguing sometimes, but I am not stupid so I will never get arrested, smoke or do drugs"...that doesn't sound so bad but you haven't seen this kids talking back and arguing skills!! lol.
Thanks for any help with the book, you all sound so knowledgeable, keep up the good work!!
Celine

You may want to take a look at:
"What's Going on Down There? Answers to Questions Boys Find Hard to Ask"
and
"What's Happening to my Body? Book for Boys"
Then slap your DH upside the head and tell him to step up to the plate. Batters up...
Thank you daddioe!! you gave me an idea when you mentioned slapping dh upside the head....when these books arrive I could pick a topic and address it in question form to dh requesting his OWN experience with this as a young man - in front of ds!!! it might just get the dialogue going!! I won't pick something too intense.....he might faint!! although he is a great guy, I wish he were the type to talk about these things openly with his son but alas....in dh's family babies just appear....sex never happens....how unfortunate but thankfully my family and upbringing is the opposite and I am going to make sure our son goes out into the world well equipped. I am the kind of mom who will buy his protection for him when the time comes (and he is 30 yo...lol) if he is embarrassed....all he has to do is put it on the grocery list next to the peanut butter!! hope I don't offend anyone by saying that.
Thanks again, I will check out those books and browse the board again for any other suggestions too although those two sound like a great start!
Celine
I think Daddio has given you some good places to start...and I would definitely go with the slapping DH upside the head.
My ex refused to have "the talk" with my son - and when he was 14, and it was obvious (at least to me) that he was "different" (translate: gay), I figured I'd better sit down and discuss it myself.
Between sex ed in school, some older boys (through theater) that we knew that could help, and myself, we got the idea across...but it would have been so much easier if Dad had done it.
"on the grocery list next to the peanut butter"???? ROTFLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My DH isn't much for talking with our DSs either, I have talked to them about EVERYTHING, which has been interesting at times. ;) I've never bought protection for my DSs but have let them know loud and clear that if they intend to be sexually active they'd better use it, and I'm working on the assumption that until this point they have - no STDs and no grandbabies and they're 19-22 y/o. (though one of the 22 y/os is married & just got back from Iraq, so maybe grandbabies?)
OTOH, with DD 15 1/2, I'm buying her pills and checking periodically to make sure she's taking them. At about the same time that I found out, totally by accident, that she and her b/f were having sex, I read a tm on her phone from him that said "my mom bought some more condoms for me." My first thought was "what on earth was she thinking??" because I knew from talking to her that she and I were on the same page as far as thinking these two kids were way too young to take their relationship to that level. My next thought was a realization that she's thinking the same thing I am - if there's a will, there's a way, and if they're going to do it, we're going to give them what they need to do it safely and responsibly. I'd love to be able to say "that's it, no more sex for you until you're 30" but how realistic is that? They already have a couple of classmates who are parents, and I'm POSITIVE that's not the route I want for my DD.
Rose
omigosh!! parents at that age? wow! of course you wouldn't wish that on anyone esp your dd and her bf. I totally agree with what you said and although I would never encourage sex (ie....letting them sleep in my home or not having supervision at the other person's home)or make it 'easy' for them.....we have to be realistic like you said and help them prevent a future of heartache and difficulty, that is our job as parents.
While its good to know you got through talking about everything with your sons; it sure would be nice to have our dh's help on this one too but then again I think its better to have dialogue that's open and honest rather than funny and shameful......which is what dh just might do....make a joke of it and imho...puberty and talking about such things have no place in comedy, we can make it lighthearted yes, but not funny.
Thanks for your kind reply to my post, you guys are a great bunch here and I am going to order the books daddioe recommended.....Celine
FWIW - my mom bought ds that "What's Happening to My Body Book for Boys" when he was 9, as that's when the school had 'the talk' with them. I just gave it to ds at the time; I didn't tell him to read it or anything (nor did I read it other than flipping through the content - I didn't want him to feel funny!); it was all up to him. He liked it like that; referred to it on and off, on his own time. It certainly disspelled some of the playground myths for him!
Sue
I'm curious -- do they not cover this type of material in your school curriculum? We live in Canada and my son attends a publicly funded Catholic school and both he (who is going on 12) and my older dd got very good education regarding puberty and sexuality and issues around peer pressure, drug abuse, eating disorders, nutrition etc etc in the school system. It was a regular part of their education starting in 4th or 5th grade.
So....isn't this type of stuff taught in schools where you live? Not that you want to abdicate all responsibility to schools but at least there they have the tools wrt to books and information and subject matter experts to cover the basics.
yes they do cover this in school, the kids and parents get to choose if they would like to take it in Grade 5 - dh said he was not ready and would be embarrassed.....but in Grade 6 its part of the curriculum; doing that in May. I just want to make sure all the bases are covered and ds has a book he can refer to from time to time over the next couple of years or so. They also just finished a great drug awareness program and I am grateful for that....I think of all the things that scare me about raising a kid, drug use is number one.
we are in Canada too and ds attends a French Immersion school; switching to full French for Grades 7-12. Thanks for writing! Celine