Graduation Trips

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2006
Graduation Trips
10
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 8:19am

My DD, a senior in HS approached me recently about going on a trip after graduation in June. Apparently "all of the girls" (in her group) were talking and they are starting to plan a trip (to Mexico) for June 2007. I was even told that the other parents were supportive of it.


I am absolutely horrified by the idea!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
In reply to: karezz
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 9:53am
You have some time before she graduates high school. A lot could change in those few months. I would not make an issue of it until she's sure she wants to go. As for "all the other parents are permitting this trip". I doubt that's the case. That's what my daughter said and it just wasn't true. This is just my opinion but I would absolutely forbid this trip. It's just not safe. I forbid my daughter to go to Ocean City, Maryland where all the "cool" kids were going for senior trip. I didn't like the idea of such a big group going and of course, there was the driving aspect of the trip. All of them were under 18. She was upset for awhile but eventually understood and made other plans that were just as fun. I really would examine the situation very closely as I honestly don't believe Mexico is a safe place for anyone who's 18.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
In reply to: karezz
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 10:40am

Does the name Natalee Holloway sound at all familiar? Parental support or no (and it does seem that Natalee's parents were supportive and in favor of HER trip, as were all the other parents) too many things can go wrong. Especially in Mexico. And even for adults.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
In reply to: karezz
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 10:45am
I wouldn't let either of my boys go on a senior trip like that.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: karezz
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 11:54am

My DD is a senior and just briefly mentioned that some of her friends were thinking of planning a trip to Cancun or someplace like that and would I let her go? I said I would have to know all the details first because I just didn't feel like getting into an argument over something that just seemed very vague at that time. They do have school sponsored and chaperoned trips to Europe over vacation which I would let her go on if I had the money, but this just seemed like a kid-planned trip and she said it would cost about $1000, which I certainly don't have to spare. I would like to have that money to spend on a vacation for the whole family or preferably for just me & my DH.

Anyway, I am glad that I see that other parents don't think it's a good idea. My DD has never been away from home overnight w/o supervision. We went on a family vacation for just 2 nights last summer that she didn't want to go on and I wouldn't even let her stay home alone. She had to go to her father's. And I wasn't really worried that she would have people over for a party. I just didn't want to be away from home and worry that something could happen to her.

I think back to when I had just graduated from high school and my friends & I would go away for the weekend to Cape Cod (at that time, I lived in RI, so Cape Cod was about an hour away). We just rented a motel room, ate and had a good time. Then, the drinking age was 18, so we did have drinks, but not excessive. We also had a couple of girls who had to get a fake ID. I didn't go on a big trip out of the country until I was a senior in college. We live in the suburbs, so I feel that my DD & her friends are not street smart. I worry on her occasional trips to Boston. I would just think what would happen to her if she was out of the country w/ no adult and something went wrong. I would be happier if they decided to take a trip to Fla, or someplace closer. Also, I would rather have her go away for a weekend w/ just a few friends. I think they would be less likely to get into trouble than have a very large group where people can get out of control.

Now that I have heard what other people are saying, I probably would not let her go. I can't wait to have that discussion. Maybe I'll get lucky and the trip won't get planned.

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: karezz
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 2:07pm

This sounds awful, but I had to LOL at your post. But ONLY because when my DS19 was a senior, he and his buddies "planned" numerous trips like this during their senior months. I never said much, perhaps just a mention of "well, better start saving your money" (which, if you knew my ds, you would know *that* wasn't going to happen!!), or I would just snicker-like 'yeah, right. Like that's gonna happen.' As an added benefit, I knew the parents of his buddies, and knew they wouldn't go for the deal either. I just let them plan to their little hearts' content. :)

Now, if it had ever come to fruition, I would have said 'no way'. But, I knew it never would.

Do you know any of dd's friends' parents? Can you talk to them and see if their dds have broached the subject with them or how they might feel about it? Just knowing if some of the other parents feel the same way you do could help you not worry about if it's really going to happen. The girls may just be daydreaming.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2006
In reply to: karezz
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 2:25pm
I am no where near this point with my daughter but when the time comes, and it will, I will definately, with out a doubt, no matter what say NO WAY. There are too many stories about kids going down to mexico and never coming back or coming back with life long damage. Plus Mexico is so unsafe right now I wouldnt even go there with my husband. We live about an hour from the border and we dont even go there. I would wait and see if she is really planning it, if she is then tell her no but have a back up plan, maybe you can plan a family outing or something fun. Michele
Avatar for momtb4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: karezz
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 3:04pm

My ds came home early in his senior year with the same idea. I think they pitch this crap at school. I told him there was no way I'd approve such a thing. Since he was still 17, a minor, I wouldn't sign the release to approve him to go, and by the time he turned 18, the cut off dates had long since passed. There was no way he could have come up with that kind of money and I certainly wasn't gonna. I wasn't gonna let my kid leave the country! God only knows what could have/would have happened.

O, yea, he told me about this friend and that friend who'd parents were definately letting them go. Blah Blah Blah. You know what? Not one single person that I know of went to Mexico out of his senior class!!! Not ONE!

Just say no, be the bad guy of the moment. This will pass very quickly and you'll never hear another word about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
In reply to: karezz
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 5:40pm
I simply told my DD not without a parent I know and trust. She argued a little but gave up when she realized that wasn't getting her anywhere.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2005
In reply to: karezz
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 7:02pm

You've gotten some good advice already, but here's my two cents.

Rather than avoiding it, maybe you can help your DD plan something more realistic, more safe. If you help plan it, you would have some control over where, how long, etc. Also, this gives you some time to talk to her about guidelines for safety, think out some scenarios, etc.

Don't believe "all the other parents" - it's probably not true, and anyway, we don't need to parent based on what everyone else says. Offer to call the other parents....that will stop that line of reasoning. And, if in fact, all the other parents said yes, then you can share your concerns with them and together plan a safe trip.

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2006
In reply to: karezz
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 7:42pm

I agree with you 100%, kids don't know what they may encounter now a days.

My husband and I told our daughter when she was a junior she could pick any where in the United States for a graduation trip, we where going to give her six months to decide, then she was selected as a band ambassador for central Iowa, so we paid half of her way, instead, she had a great time. Now our son is a junior we have told him the same thing to start thinking of where he would like to go we he graduates, it may not be a family of four vacation, but I know he will be safe, with mom and dad.