Grr WWYD?

Community Leader
Registered: 06-27-2006
Grr WWYD?
9
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 10:31am
DD has a bf. He is arrogant and very disrespectful to my DD. We can see it, her brothers can see it, of course, she can't. He has 'cheated' on her, and she took him back. They fight, break up then get back together. I need some words of wisdom to know exactly what to do. We do limit their time together. They are not allowed at his house(no adult supervision), and if they go somewhere, she has a curfew. So far, she has kept her curfew.
But remembering vaguely how it was to be a teenage girl, I know if we 'forbid' her to see him, it will just push her closer to him. Help!
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Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
In reply to: krilerby
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 11:04am

I know it is not what you probably want to hear but I think you are doing everything you can now.

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Community Leader
Registered: 06-27-2006
In reply to: krilerby
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 11:15am
Thanks, Cheryl. I figured that right now we were doing all we could. He will go to the same school, and the bad thing is the school is super small. So, they will see each other everyday. I'm hoping she will get busy with band and forget about him. Thanks for the reply. :o)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2009
In reply to: krilerby
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 12:12pm

I agree with Cheryl that you won't get the result that you're looking for if you try to break them up. In addition to everything you are already doing, I'd try to be really emotionally supportive to her WRT how he treats her.

Try to talk to her about self-esteem, being treated respectfully, ect without making it a direct "he treats you like crap, you should break up with him". I know that parents who try to be "friends" with their kids are looked down on, but in this circumstance she might need a wise friend/mom who can help her to see her own worth more clearly, kwim. Even if it's in a sort of indirect way.

Community Leader
Registered: 06-27-2006
In reply to: krilerby
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 1:25pm
Excellent! Thanks so much for that advice.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
In reply to: krilerby
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 2:14pm
I agree with the others - if you try to break them up, it's only going to make them closer... "me and him against the world" kind of thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2008
In reply to: krilerby
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 6:04pm

At this age, a friend's opinion carries more weight in this regard than a parent's opinion.


Community Leader
Registered: 06-27-2006
In reply to: krilerby
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 6:46pm
Oh my goodness! You're so right,friends have such a big influence on her! I pray you're right about them pointing out that he is a jerk. Surely they see it too.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
In reply to: krilerby
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 7:48pm

I am one that knows of a situation where forbidding a teen girl to date a boy worked.


He got tired of not being able to see her, cause she was closely watched.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
In reply to: krilerby
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 8:36pm
i agree with the other posters.
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