Habitually late daughter.What to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2011
Habitually late daughter.What to do?
Fri, 04-15-2011 - 2:57pm

My daughter 14 goes to charter school... in class 3 days at home 2 days..We are close and have fun and laugh together....But this being late is pushing my buttons big time...I met with her teacher who informed me that now this is effecting her overall grade/college transcript etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Sat, 04-16-2011 - 8:20pm

Ah Teresa,

My dad's philosophy in action again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Sat, 04-16-2011 - 6:51pm

I think it really depends on what is causing the lateness. If she is truly incapable of focusing, like sabrtooth talked about with her dds, then you will see it in many, many ways. If so, yes, you need to "help her help herself." However, you're not seeing other signs of distractedness, inattention, trouble focusing, etc... then it is most likely just a very bad habit. When we experienced this with our oldest dd, we did have to get pretty strict. A few times, I refused to take her in late when she missed the bus, but of course, that is unbelievably stressful for everyone (let's just say she didn't take it well). In our case, the sleep/wake up problems were long standing and obvious -they had been going on for years and years and eventually we got a special transport for medical reasons after first period. In the meantime, however, we did get strict just to prevent the constant stress/nagging/yelling/fighting every morning. If her hair wasn't done, too bad. If her makeup got applied in the bus, fine with me. If she couldn't find her coat, she could grab an extra one of mine or go without.

And the teacher is 100% right - yes, if the school looks closely, they will notice her low grade is in PE. However, most schools first screen by GPA and test scores. They're not going to look too closely to see what brought down her grades. As we told our dd, "we understand that this is hard for you. We want to help you, BUT, in order to succeed in the real world, you are going to need to figure out how to get places on time. " It's significantly improved and she's survived a number of early morning classes in college, but I think if I had let her get away with more, it would have gotten even worse.

Tell her you're leaving at 7 am. Remind her again at 6:45... At 6:55 let her know that you'll be getting in the car and leaving. At 7 o'clock, leave..... She likely will get an unexcused absence and perhaps a detention, but she'll know you mean business....


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Sat, 04-16-2011 - 1:17am

My dad just drove off and left us behind on several occasions.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Fri, 04-15-2011 - 7:47pm

I have 2 ADDult daughters who were ADD teens, and it was a constant challenge to keep them on task.

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Fri, 04-15-2011 - 4:21pm

This is typical teenage behavior, but it doesn't mean you have to put up with it. Two things to do: