Having friends over to the house

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Having friends over to the house
13
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 10:38pm

Hi, I am wondering....how many of you have kids who enjoy having their friends over to your house to hang out? How many of you find that your kids would rather go to their friends' houses to hang out? My DS rarely had friends over. Oh, he did sometimes, but he usually went out with friends. They didn't really hang out at each other's houses, and then when he had a girlfriend, he'd hang out at her house. My DD has brought her boyfriend over for the past year, and they used to hang out here a lot, but now he does not come over much anymore, and DD would rather go to her girlfriends' houses or go out. I know that some houses lend themselves to the kids hanging out better, but I don't think our house is an unfriendly hangout. It's kind of weird to me. I sometimes wonder if DH and I appear to be unwelcoming or what.

Discouraged, Nancy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2006
Thu, 07-19-2007 - 7:56pm

I think my kids time at and away from home is pretty even. They dont go out every night or day, but they aren't hermits either. I do have a pool, but there is no pool or ping pong table. There is darts though and a nice sized TV with a lot of channels. There is no basement, but there is enough privacy so that they are comfertable. Actually now that I think about it, kids are over here a lot.

Natalie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2006
Thu, 07-19-2007 - 9:13pm

My kids hang out here more than anywhere else.... mostly because I am pretty laid back with few rules as long as they don't mess with the few I do have. Before their dad and I divorced, he didn't like lots of kids around, but I grew up in the house where everyone wanted to be and so once we divorced, that was what our house became. Since I sleep in the downstairs, the kids have the freedom of the upstairs, kitchen, etc... We have a pool and a good neighborhood where they can hang out. My daughter, 16 is a little less to have a big group over (even though she is just as social as DS is) because she doesn't like feeling like she has to be "in charge"....

I think sometimes it just depends on the kids and also the parents. I never care how late they are here (except for school nights)... I never care who is asleep in the LR when I get up in the morning... sometimes there will be a dozen or so... no biggie... They seem to be pretty good at making their own fun by playing video games, poker (last night DS had a bunch here... I never even went up to see who all), and stupid things like the "milk challenge" or dry ice bombs.... a bonfire, etc.....

One other thing is that my son's group of friends in HS often hung at his best friend's house because he was the only one who was an only child... and they didn't have to mess with the younger siblings there plus he has a mom who is pretty much like me.....and we both love having kids at the house... It is really the only way to really get to know your kid's friends.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 07-19-2007 - 9:38pm
I'm sure your suspicions are exactly right, and no, you cannot really control them beyond a certain point. But just making sure they know you don't buy into all that stuff and don't stand for it in your home will go a long way to deterring it. It's unbelievable how clueless some parents can be.

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