Having the talk with mom...help?
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| Fri, 04-20-2007 - 3:02am |
Hi everyone! I've been reading these boards for some time now...I've never posted because I'm a teen and not a parent, but I could really use some advice. Basically, I think I want to have the talk with my mom and tell her that I have been having sex with my boyfriend. Obviously she isn't going to be thrilled, but we're pretty close and while part of me thinks it would be mortifying to have her know, another big part of me feels weird keeping it from her. Yesterday it seemed like she started to approach the topic...she had come home and found my younger brother in his room with his girlfriend with the door closed. First she had a talk with him about the door being closed and having her over with no adults home, etc., but afterwards she talked to me about it and was asking about how it was when I first started dating my current boyfriend and he came over and making sure she had the same rules with us (she did), but then she started to say that now was different and she trusted me, and anyways we had been dating for almost a year and a half now and we were both responsible...and it was like she thought about asking but decided she didn't want to.
I would like to have this talk with her, but how should I go about it? Any suggestions on what to say or how/when to bring it up?
Oh, and just so you know since I'm sure age and things would be a factor on how a parent would react to this talk...I'm 19, we've been dating for almost a year and a half, my parents really like him, and I've been on BC since before we were even dating due to bad periods but we do use a condom every time.
Thanks to everyone who gives advice...I'd like to have this talk with her soon.

Good for you for wanting to talk to your mom this. I agree with you that she was probably trying to get up the courage to ask you, and then let it pass. I know I would be nervous about talking about this, but I would be appreciative that my DD felt close enough to tell me. Maybe you can start just like you said here - something like "we're so close" "I hate keeping this from you"...
When there's a tough or embarrassing topic, some moms here have suggested having the talk in the car - don't need to look at each other, and it's sort of a neutral space.
I don't know that I'd be thrilled, but I wouldn't be surprised - given your age and the length of your relationship. Of course, it almost goes without saying, that NOBODY wants to hear the details LOL ;-)
Rose