help needed - teenage boy
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| Fri, 01-12-2007 - 8:20am |
Hi all, I'm new here and I just want to get some advice for my sister, who has a teenager aged 15.
She has been at her wits end, and asking me for advice, but I don't have kids so I don't know what to say!
The deal is, her son has been asking her questions about why he was circumcized, and what beenfit it is supposed to have. She just doesn't know how to answer him.
It started when some girls at his school started teasing the boys about being circumcized. They were saying things like 'boys have to get done because girls prefer it and it stops you from playing with yourself.' They were also saying really horrible stuff like 'you had your foreskin ripped off by the midwives, with no pain relief'.
My sister had bought her son a computer for his bedroom, with internet access, and she checked the history, and found loads of websites saying that circumcizion is 'mutilation', and 'barbaric', and that there is no medical reason to do it. She also found some really sick stuff saying that it gets done so that men can't masturbate.
The boys father is not around, and my sister never remarried, so she doesn't have a man who can talk to him about this kind of stuff.
He came home from school last week and said to her 'mom, why did you take away my right to choose?'
I mean, what the heck do you say to that?

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It's all so creepy...the pics I'm seeing now show earrings - I'll bet he didn't have those at 11...
Sue
Yes rates in Canada are significantly lower than in the US. Roughly 14% of males were circumsized at birth in Canada as of 2003 compared to 65% in the US.
The prevailing opinion is that there is no medical requirement for circumsizion of males and that it is an unnecessary procedure.
Problem is -- it is irreversable so nothing you can do about it now. And given that fully 2/3 or men in the US are being circumsized maybe your son can tell those silly little girls that they better be ready to accept the facts because chances are they will eventually be involved with and marry a circumsized male if they marry in the US....
Its perfectly okay for your son to find out information. It is also perfectly okay that he challenges you. That is a normal part of life and being a parent. But you tell him that it is also a normal part of life that parents make decisions on behalf of their children to the best of their knowledge and ability. And by the way, may want to also tell him that he should choose the girls he socializes with a little more carefully.
"Reasons to favor circumcision go beyond religion and culture. Observational studies published in the last year support that circumcised males reduce their risks for some STDs by 50%"
Risk of STDs are significantly reduced by use of condoms too. Don't be lulled into thinking circumcision can/should be touted as a way to protect children from STDs. YIKES!
For those of you in the back of the classroom read: HIV and unwanted pregnancy.
Fergusson, D. M., Boden, J. M., & Horwood, L. J.(2006). Circumcision Status and Risk of Sexually Transmitted Infection in Young Adult Males: An Analysis of a Longitudinal Birth Cohort. Pediatrics 118(5), 1971-1979. The authors concluded, "Male circumcision may reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infection acquisition and transmission by up to one half, suggesting substantial benefits accruing from routine neonatal circumcision."
I almost chose to not reply as your tone seems rather aggressive and emotional to me, as if you are more interested in finding flaws with published science rather than reconsidering your personally held beliefs. I'm all for evidence-based practices and am open to whichever direction the evidence leads.
Thanks. And there is no tone. Many people say "research shows" without citation. Well "research" is a wide wide net so I wanted to check the source for myself. Most people accept "research shows" as valid.
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