But he's not mine.....
aww, it sounds to me that this boy just needs to be loved first and the motivation will follow. he sounds depressed due to his family situation.
When this boy is sitting alone at his father's house, who is cooking for him, doing his laundry, cleaning up after him, taking care of him when he is sick?
I'm wondering if it is even legal to leave the boy alone like that.
I have a 16 yr old son & I can't imagine leaving him home overnight EVER--and it's not because he's irresponsible, it's because I'd be worried about him.
I agree with the others that you should investigate the laws in your province regarding the legality of this boy being left on his own at 16. You knowing about the situation and not notifying the authorities could give you some liability if it is illegal. A case could be made that he has been abandoned.
There are some 16yo's who are mature enough to be on their own but this boy does not sound like one of them. And he needs more physical and emotional support than anyone can provide in a few hours one day a week. I would encourage the father to somehow alter the situation so someone, preferably dad, is with the boy on a regular basis.
My dd used to date a guy whose teen years had some parallels with this boy's situation, most notedly the mother "throwing away" the son at 16yo for her new bf. That guy had some deep psychological scars that prevented him from having truly adult relationships. It would be nice if your bf's son could get some intervention now so he doesn't end up like my dd's xbf.
The boy's father will never get a different job. He's an oil rig manager and makes a 6 figure income....something he won't give up for the sake of anyone (including his son) until he makes enough money to become a full-time farmer. I have also talked to my boyfriend and told him it's not a good idea to leave the boy alone all the time but he only says things like, "There are 16 year olds who move out and live on their own, he'll be fine", "I can't do anything about it, he has no choice", "If he doesn't like it then he can go live with his mom". After talking with his mom, she doesn't want the boy, she just wants to live happily ever after in England with her new man and not worry about her old life back in Canada.
With the help of everyone here (Thank you!), I have come to the conclusion that I cannot step in as a parent for this boy but it's not going to do any harm for me to continue to go out and see him once a week....cook him supper, do his laundry, tidy the house and help him with homework. Something is better than nothing. I have been trying to convince my boyfriend (and his parents who live up the road and do NOTHING) that something has to be done.....after a year, nobody is listening to me and nobody seems to care.
I do have plans on talking to the Principal of the boy's school and maybe Child Services to see if any laws are being broken.
Thank you all again. I know that this boy is probably going to grow up into a messed up adult but there's only so much I can do for him. I tried.