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|Mon, 10-06-2003 - 10:21am|
My stepdaughter is a very troubled fourteen year old girl. Her bio mom basically dumped her on us after she became out of control and ran away from home twice. After she moved in with us, she is a lot settled due to my husband¡¯s patient parenting.
Any way I have a very specific question today. After my husband told my stepdaughter she is not allowed to go out for a month, she seems to be determined to be defiant and unpleasant to us. For example, she normally goes to bed around 10:00pm every night. But last night she was watching TV even after 11:00pm (she had done nothing but watching TV the whole day yesterday any way), and my husband told her to go to bed. She completely ignored him. My husband was about to burst into rage because that was just one example of her defiant behaviors yesterday. I calmed him down and told him that she was just waiting for a chance to have a fight with him and show him that he could not control her and she would do whatever she wanted to do. Fortunately he listened to me and decided to ignore her and came to bed. Not long after we went to bed, my stepdaughter went to bed also because there was nobody to be defiant to.
But I am very concerned how we are going to survive this way a month. Even though my husband listened to me last night, he can lose control of his temper when he is under a lot of work stress, which is exactly what my stepdaughter wants to see happening. I know we should stand firm on our ground and stay calm and at the same time show our love and care for her while she becomes more and more nasty. But how? How can we do this when all she does is to trying to make us crazy?
Please help and advise.