help/motivation

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2007
help/motivation
21
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 10:37pm

I am looking for some advice here.

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Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 11:05pm

I know we all want the best for our kids and it is hard to let them do what they do......or don't do.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 11:14pm

Do you remember being 13?


As

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 6:43am

What does she say when you ask about this? If this were my DD, I'd sit with her and say "I'm fine either way, tell me what *you* want." She might be a little scared of the process, and think "what if I don't get in" and she may think you'll be so disappointed in her if she doesn't get in or if it doesn't work for her. So, ask. With my DD, I've gotten further when I let her tell me what she's thinking.

THEN, if you find out she really wants this, but the application process is overwhelming, you can help her break it into smaller, more manageable pieces. At that age, my DD would have been totally intimidated by the amount of work to do. With similar things, I helped her make a to-do list with rough dates. Then she could tackle one thing at a time.

Sue, mom to Leah and Seth


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2007
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 7:37am

How exactly am i putting too much pressure on her?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2007
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 7:45am
Thanks for the advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2007
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 7:59am
Thanks Sue.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 7:59am

You know what?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 8:05am

It sounds like you've done everything you can. You can't force her to do the art work or the essay if she doesn't want to. At 13, she is still very young, but it might be the time for her to learn a hard lesson about procrastination. The only other thing I could suggest is that instead of having her say she'll work on it 2 nights a week, you could help her break it down even more--actually help her list the things she has to do, or even have her work on it 15 minutes at a time. My 13 y/o DS procrastinates on his schoolwork a lot, so I sometimes tell him he can't do XYZ until he spends a certain amount of time on his science project, for example. Good luck. It is very hard when we see our kids standing in their own way, and there isn't much we can do about it.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2007
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 8:11am
How can you say that no one will care what high school or college she went to in 10 or 15 years???
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2007
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 8:15am
Thank you so much.

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