Hi my name is Robin
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| Thu, 02-22-2007 - 10:02am |
I may have posted here a few weeks or a few months back.
My name is Robin and I Have a dd age 19, a dd 17, dd 15, dd 13 (next month) ds 11 and dd 9. I"m having some problems with my 19 year old but i'm handling them ok right now. It is the trouble with my 17 year old and my 15 year old. They are extremly rude and disrespectful. they tell me to shut up or i'm not their mother anymore. they spend the weekends with their aunt (my sil) and she is just a bad influence on them. I know it dh knows it but in order to have peace in the house he lets them go anyway. when they are gone the house is actualy peaceful. Their bedrooms are so messy an d dirty you can't see the floor. not only with clothes and stuff but with dishes and trash also. I tell them to clean their room they tell me to shut up. my dh and I are both in counseling right now to try to figure out how to deal with this. I don't know where it's coming from. most of this started back in sept. they switched to a new school their aunt moved in with her handicapped son and then moved out nov 1st sense the beginning of sept their disrespect and rudeness has gotten to the better of me and my dr. put me on xanax to help me deal with it. They do NO chores around the house at alll. My dh told my 15 year old last night to dot he dishes. she said no he called her back into the room and she kept saying no each time he called her. i'm sitting on the couch and i'm just fuming becaue he is laying on the couch and doesn't do a thing when she eventually leaves the room and doesn't come back! to me thats just telling them ok i wasn't really talking. so guess who gets left with the dishes again? NOPE no way i'm not doing them today. i'll take the 3 younger ones out to eat for pizza for dinner tonight and leave dh and the three older ones to do what htey want about dinner. i'm tired of all the crap and the disrespect. they are picking it up from us i know that. i tell him they talk to me the way they do because he allows it. i say something to them when they are nasty and he tells me to be quiet or shut up infront of them so what does that teach them? i can say anything i want to mom and dad's not going to do anything?
so you can imagine the turmoil my house is in right now. I took a disposable camera i had laying around and took pictures of their rooms. Everyone says that a teenager's room is messy i'd like to scan these pictures and have other peoples opinions on them!
I'm looking forward to meeting everyone and getting some advise from you all
Robin

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I am sorry that I implied that you are a drug abuser. That was not my intent. Have you ever went back and read some of your old posts. There was one or two of them that were muddled sounding. I am glad that you are not getting to that point again. I can understand the need to have something to help with taking the edge off in a time when you are not getting hardly any support at all. The drug abuse *I* was talking about was the potential for your older children to be bringing it home from their aunt's. If she's using things over there and they're spending a bit of time with them, then it's highly possible for them to be bringing it into your home. Doesn't sound like she's that good of an influence on them.
I do hope that you will have some luck in convincing your H to be supportive of helping to get your children straightened out. I also hope your therapist continues to help you while you get everything sorted out. My sincere best wishes in your family working as a team to be the best that you can all be.
Sallie
Thank you Sally, I've stopped taking the ambien right now because i figured out that was causing a lot of problems. i wasn't getting the sleep time i needed so i was draging in the morning. I stopped drinking any alcahol with the xanax and just reading books or cleaning on the nights i can't sleep.
After I talked to my dh and he went to pick up our dd i sat down and told him everything i knew personally what was going on in his sisters house, and i also told him what i've been told by people that our mutual friends of ours. my nephew uses snack bags to hand out the pot in. it's all open infront of everyone. someone comes to the door and he comes down stairs from upstairs and he has it in his hand. they hand him the money and he hands them the pot. I don't kow if he is into any other drugs but i do know his father went to federal prison for being one of the biggest drug dealers in our state. he turned evidence and turned in his suppliers so he served 16 years and is now out again.
I just have to keep trying to keep them away. both of the girls put job applications in at different grocery stores and resteraunts to try and get afterschool jobs and on weekends so i'm hoping they get the jobs just to get them out of the hosue and to keep them away from their aunt!
Robin
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