Hospitalized with eating disorder

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2006
Hospitalized with eating disorder
8
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 8:57pm

I've read messages before, but this is the first time I've typed anything.

This morning I took my daughter to an eating disorders clinic and she was admitted to the hospital for a diagnosis of Eating disorder NOS with bradycardia. Her heart rate was in the low 40's. She'll be in the hospital from a week to 6 weeks.

My daughter is 16 and going into her Jr. year of high school. She first started dieting in seventh grade when she wanted to be "thin and pretty" like the other girls. She's a high achieving gal, gets mostly A's in school, plays piano and has been in elite basketball for 4 years. Obviously, she hasn't been playing as well lately.

For all her accomplishments, she has low self esteem. She has withdrawn from friends and is very irritable to be around.

Guess I should be happy she's finally getting the help she needs. I hope it works. I just feel inadequate as a parent that she's having this trouble.

Schwanny

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Registered: 05-12-2003
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 9:46pm
Awww Schwanny, you must have so many mixed feelings right now. You deserve a huge pat on the back for getting your DD the help she needs. Surely you are missing her though. Your DD's story sounds just like mine when I was a teen. I started with dieting in 7th grade because I was in gymnastics and our coach didn't want any chubby gymnasts.. that combined with my desire to really succeed sent me into years of disordered eating. I too ended up in the hospital in the summer between 11th and 12th grade. Thank God. It didn't cure me though... with the personality I had (wanting to please) I did exactly what I was supposed to do. I was the best patient. So after 2 weeks they let me leave. I was actually ok for a while. But then I went to college where I had fewer boundaries and it sent me into a tailspin. My advice is to be there for your DD and realize there might be recovery followed by a relapse. At some point SHE has to OWN IT and that takes awhile. To really not want to be that way any more. But by your getting her into a program she knows what is available. Keep caring and try to ask how things are going (that can be hard because those with eating disorders really can hide things including their feelings). I didn't have much support during that difficult time... my parents never really wanted to talk about it or face it. Even now if I bring it up, my mom changes the subject and my dad acts like he doesn't even know what I am talking about and leaves the room. I don't bring it up anymore. It is my thing... and I DID completely recover. But it was because I couldn't stand it anymore. I had had enough. It may take awhile for your DD to get there, but God bless you for your support. Remember too that often there is nothing you can say that will help her. SHE has to figure it out. Just be there to love her. You're in my prayers.
Deb
Debbie
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Registered: 02-14-2000
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 9:58am
Hi and welcome to the board.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 11:44am

Oh wow schwanny, how scary for you. It is with a thankful heart that I say I don't have any experience with eating disorders, but do want to send you some cyber-hugs.

In your DD's favor, she has a mom who is looking out for her and helping her get the treatment she needs. I have seen a tv special or two on eating disorders and it does seem like the healing and recovery process can be quite tough and parents need to be quite involved -- especially when their teens get home and try to mainstream back into 'normal' life. Hang in there.

It seems to me that counseling and therapy sessions are part of the treatment and I hope you consider some for yourself. I imagine it would be easy for us moms to take responsibility and feel at fault in situations like this, so be sure to get some counseling for yourself. From the little I know about eating disorders, you need to be as strong as possible so you can continue to help your DD.

HTH ... more hugs and good luck. Please keep us posted as to your DD's progress.

Julie

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 11:49am

Oh Pam! How scary for you too! I guess this can affect even boys, too? From what I know of Jason through your posts, he seems to be very 'type A', as the DD in the OPs post doess. Do you suppose those extra-high achievers are especially susceptible to things like this?

Sending you some cyber-hugs as well. Hope you'll post soon.

Julie

 

 

 

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Registered: 07-02-1998
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 6:58pm

Hi Schwanny.

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Registered: 07-03-2006
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 10:38pm

Deb, how many years ago was that? Thanks so much for your message. It helped more than words can say.

I feel too embarrassed to talk to coworkers and family about it. I feel like I can't say or do anything right. Sometimes I just want to run away.

She was such a perfect child, and I honestly don't know what I did wrong in raising her. I gave her every opportunity, every encouragement.

When I saw her today I mentioned about that this is her problem and that Dad or I would do anything to help you, but you have to take care of this yourself. She can hurt dad or me, but in the end, she's really hurting herself.

I hope she makes the best of this hospitalization. Thanks for your support.

Schwanny

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 12:53am

To Schwanny and Pam - I don't post here much anymore but I do lurk and had to respond to both your posts.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2006
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 11:37am

Thank you all so much for your encouragement. I'm hoping against hope that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

Schwanny