Hot Topics: Dispute w/ Teen or Not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2004
Hot Topics: Dispute w/ Teen or Not?
13
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 7:30pm

Hi everyone,
Something just came up and I wondered what your opinion is. I have learned (I think here) that when your teen comes to you, don't offer your two cents or lecture because then they won't want to talk to you. I do pretty good when it comes to friends, but my DD's teachers have a tendencies to talk about hot topics and give their opinions. Problem is, I don't normally agree and I'm afraid that my DD will take her teacher's word as the gosple. For example, today one of her teachers got on the topic of pediphiles who chat with someone undercover then are arrested when they go to meet the "minor" for $ex. She told the class they should not be arrested because it was entrapment. I am annoyed because I feel like the teacher is telling the class that pediphiles should get more sympathy (not to mention, the last I checked none of the teachers at my daughter's middle school have law degrees). I agree that it is entrapment, however, because of the potential, I think it's necessary to catch these people and make examples out them.

ANYWAY! My whole reason for writing is I shared my opinion with DD and she shut down and told me my opinion is "stupid". After I had a flash of coming over the counter and choking her, I told her everyone has their own opinion. I want her to keep talking to me, but I feel like if I don't say something about this (knowing she is an Internet user herself), then opinions such as her teachers will make an impression on her. I know her opinion will mature, but if this were you, would you keep your opinion to yourself or would you speak up?

 

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Avatar for mily12
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Sun, 05-14-2006 - 11:31am

I would definately speak up. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and the fact that your DD said you're opinion was "stupid" was rude. Ask her how she'd feel if you said the same thing to her. What makes her think that her teacher's opinions are correct. It is, after all, only an opinion. By the way, I don't agree with them expressing those opinions in class. What class was it? Is it a civics class and is it a discussion based class where all sides can be discussed, or is the teacher taking advantage of his/her authority to influence the students? I'd call that teacher.

>>I have learned (I think here) that when your teen comes to you, don't offer your two cents or lecture because then they won't want to talk to you<< My interpretation of this statement is that we, parents, are to listen to our kids when they come to us with problems and then try to discuss a solution with them, not impose our solution upon them. I don't interpret this as saying that we should always keep our thoughts to ourselves. As parents, there are numerous occasions where we have to step in and teach our kids and in my opinion,this is one of those situations.

By the way, I agree with you 100%. Entrapment or not, pedifiles need to be taken off the streets and punished for their actions.

Mily

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2004
Mon, 05-15-2006 - 4:19pm

This kind of school generated topic is a perfect time to engage your teen/preteen in some real conversation and do some real learning. I typically play devil's advocate for any issue my kids raise. The advantage of the interent is that you both can spend a few minutes discussing an issue and then doing some research.

For most hot topic issues there are two valid arguments which is why they become hot topics in the first place. The important points to stress to your kids are (1) become informed about important issues yourself -- do not rely on others for your own opinions (2) do your own research and always question your information sources. Are they complete? Are they reliable? Are they well researched? Keep in mind that the adage there are lies, damn lies and statistics is often true. "They took a poll and the majority said XYZ". Okay -- what questions were asked? Who did they ask? What information was provided?, etc. . .

On the issue raised in your post the teacher apparently suggested that perhaps it is entrapment to arrest someone under the stated circumstances. Walk over to the computer together and do a google search for the definition of legal entrapment. Do the circumstances fall within that definition? How are those circumstances the same or different than an undercover agent buying or selling drugs and then making an arrest? Does the law make sense? Don't let your kid off the hook by doing the research yourself, and don't suggest that after they have looked at the subject they raise the issue in class. They will use if and when they are comfortable doing so.

Learning how to think analytically and to form opinions/make decisions based on available information taking into consideration trustworthiness of the research, is one of the most important skills people can develop.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2006
Mon, 05-15-2006 - 4:33pm
Bravo - well said. my views exactly - just explained MUCH better!

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