how to do a background check

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2003
how to do a background check
5
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 10:36am
I am the mother of a 15 yr. old girl who is has been carrying on a "relationship" through instant messanger for the past 10 months. That has been a major battle in itself because the guy is 18, not in school and does not live at home. I want to pull the plug on this completely, but my husband disagrees and says it will fade away on it's own (he's in a neighboring state). We are reasonably sure he is who he says he is because he sends pictures, a video of him playing guitar and speaking to her and has called. My pastor says to strike a compromise and so my husband and I have decided to let her only chat every other day for an hour. We are hoping she will develope some kind of real relationship in real life. she has never even held a boy's hand! There's a boy on our street who likes her, but she will have nothing to do with anyone because she is "taken". It has been a major, major amount of discord in my relationship with my daughter. I've asked for her to get the fellow's mother's telephone number so I can speak with her. She said she will, but hasn't yet. I just got Net Nanny and can monitor and observe her chats. Last night she chatted with this guy's sister and it appears he is in jail for 6 mo.

I want to know why and what kind of criminal offense he has done as it was not mentioned in the chat. Is there is a way to do a background check? Is it expensive?

This may be a key way to get my husband to see we must pull the plug on this "relationship".

Thanks,

Lpartist
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2003
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 10:58am

Perhaps you should contact the law enforcement department

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2003
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 11:03am
Thanks Deb!

I agree, I want it to stop!!! I have written Ann Landers and Dr. Phil a while back, but who really expects someone famous to answer them.

I just called my husband at work and told him what I discovered.

He is busy driving... but I'm sure we will discuss it tonight. I thought there was some way to do a background check for criminal activity on the internet.

lpartist

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2003
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 12:20pm

If you ran a search using 'background checks', you'll probably find quite a few sites.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Fri, 11-14-2003 - 10:48pm
In Wisconsin, if you do a google search for Wisconsin circuit court records you can get a record of all the court cases on anyone as long as you have their full name and approximate age. It doesn't show things like credit (unless they were charged with passing bad checks or a bankruptsey or something like that) and it doesn't show arrests, just court cases. But if this kid is to be doing jail time, it'd be in there what the charges were. Anything prior to age 18 isn't open to viewing unless they were charged as an adult. I don't know if other states have this option open, but it's how I found out about the "wonderful" person that is S's biological father (S is a much loved foster son who never left, even though he's been free to for over a year) - he's got a record a mile long, nothing violent, but definitely not the kind of person I'd want in my home either. Hope this is helpful.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2003
Sat, 11-15-2003 - 11:24pm
Number one...don't go doing any background checks...it's NONE of your business.

Your daughter is only chatting with him online not dating him, not engaged to him etc.

If him being in jail makes you nervous then YOU need to tell your daughter to stop contacting him.

Number two...don't listen to your daughter's father. If YOU want to pull the plug on the relationship do so. She is living under YOUR roof so YOUR rules are to be followed. I've never had to use net nanny or any other tactics because I set down rules and if they weren't followed there was no computer use for my daughter. She's not going to like it but tough. YOU are the parent.