How do I deal with my step son
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How do I deal with my step son
| Sat, 11-18-2006 - 2:25pm |
My husband and I are newly married and things couldn't be much better than they are, so you would think that I would be the happiest woman in the world, but things are very complicated. Into our marriage I brought my two children two girls ages 2 and 6, and he has his two sons ages 4 and 14. The younger children get along great and they are awsome kids. And when we first started dating things between me and the 14 year old were really good but now all I get from him are temper tantrums and sarcasm. I ask him something or to do something and he snaps and has some rude comment. He can't just say ok or be polite about anything!! I am at my wits end I can't deal with it anymore so I just leave the room and decide to just not get into a fight with him. I have talked to my husband about it and he says that he will deal with it but I don't know if thats the right thing to do, and sometimes when I tell him things he doesn't even act like its something wrong. Its like he has no problem with his 14 year old not showing me any respect. I have done everthing to try and have a healthy realationship with him but its just not working and my biggest thing is that I don't want the littler children to grow up and think that this behavior is acceptable. Someone please any ideas or advice on how to deal with him?

(((HUGS))) - it's hard enough to parent a teen - but a newly step-teen is even harder! I don't have any direct experience, but >>all I get from him are temper tantrums and sarcasm<< sounds a little bit like regular normal teen crap! And >>I just leave the room and decide to just not get into a fight with him<<< would be my advice. This is true whether it's my teen being rude or my 7yo - I refuse to have that kind of interaction and won't stoop to their level (OK, sometimes I *do* fight, but I try not to).
I think eventually, things will smooth out. This is a big change for all of you - dating is different than married - and it sounds like he's taking it hard.
In the meantime, have a heart to heart with him - preferrably with your DH too, and tell him how his attitude makes you feel (not in a whiny way, but just that it's disrespectful and hurtful), and find out what would make him happier. What would it take to make him lighten up a little.
Finally, maybe his attitude is not related to you - ask him if something else is bugging him. If you treat him as if his concerns are legitamite, which they are, he may relax and treat you more respectfully.
Good luck!
Sue