How do I deal with this opposition?

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Registered: 05-12-2003
How do I deal with this opposition?
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Fri, 08-04-2006 - 11:22pm
I just get so frustrated and worn out. My DD 17 seemed to be making progress with her decisions in life and using better judgement.... now it seems we are sliding back again. This past week, she decided to go with a kid who is really known as a druggy and has a very unstable home situation. Well, she decided to smoke weed with him even though her girlfriend didn't. DD told her brother (15) that she was very scared after doing that because she thought the weed was "laced." I nearly fainted when DS told me this and I had to keep quiet about it because he didn't want her to know he ratted. She told him her body felt way out of it and she couldn't feel her legs. She did tell DS that she was never going to smoke weed again. I decided to say nothing about this because with my DD's personality, if I say something, she will go out and do it again. She is quite oppositional. I am growing so very weary of all this. Now tonight, she asked if she could do something with a girl named Tessa who seems to be rather promiscuous. I said no and to start making better decisions about who she hangs out with. So what does she do?? She goes right on the computer to talk to her for over an hour. The next thing I know, Tessa calls me and is wondering why Abbi can't hang out with her. DD just can't seem to stay away from the bad influences. I mean she IS 17... when will she start acting a little more responsible?
Deb
Debbie

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Registered: 08-05-2004
Sat, 08-05-2006 - 6:18am

I highly doubt the marijuana was laced... However, if it was it was likely laced with one of three things: opium, PCP or some sort of amphetamine (cocaine usually). The most common of these

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Registered: 11-29-2005
Sat, 08-05-2006 - 4:10pm

Agree with Wolverine. The liklihood that a high schooler got her hands on "laced" marijuana is almost laughably

Avatar for jupiterfit
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Registered: 05-12-2003
Sat, 08-05-2006 - 8:33pm
But I heard about a kid who thought smoking weed was not a big deal... until he got some weed that was "laced". It affected his central nervous system and caused him to pee his pants without control. It also affected his legs somehow and he could no longer play football. What could that be? Scary!
Deb
Debbie
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Registered: 07-19-2003
Sat, 08-05-2006 - 11:24pm

I have a little personal experience in the area of "laced" marijuana. My husband (in name only because we live together but "separate" for the sake of our kids) took a part time job to make some extra money at a local bar. One night I get a call at 2AM from a female "co-worker" (lets not go there btw) that my husband was in hospital. Seems he was giving her a lift home and had some sort of, what she describes as, an anxiety attack.

So I haul my butt over to the hospital and he is in a huge state of agitation. I never saw him like this. He was pacing back and forth, gesticulating, unable to control his words, jittery, paranoid (convinced he was having some sort of heart attack or something). But he did manage to come clean about taking a few drags on a joint some coworkers were smoking after their shift ended. The nurse and doctor on duty said that his symptoms were normal for someone who had something a bit stronger than pot.

Now my H is a big man -- very much in shape and quite muscular. He's had pot before (when he was younger) and really thought a couple of drags would do nothing more than a shot of whisky might do. But there was more than pot in that joint and the reaction he had to it was very unsettling. I can't imagine how a smaller inexperienced teen would handle it.

So if you don't want to reveal you know what she did, do whatever it takes to keep her away from those influences. Its hard to deal with opposition directly but maybe you might try an indirect approach. Is there something you could get yourself and your daughter involved in that might introduce her to something more hopeful and joyful in her life? I have a theory that kids who get into this cycle of drugs and sex and trouble are searching for something and they just got on the wrong road. So what passions does your daughter have that you might nurture? Does she draw or paint or play an instrument or dance of love soccer? Does she have any hobby that she really loves that might be stepped up a notch. Its like when your kids were babies you know and they got really fussy and troublesome and you couldn't calm them down. Usually what worked was distracting their attention to something new ie some keys or a picture or a toy or the backyard... Might be an idea...

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Registered: 11-29-2005
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 3:14pm

Oh yeah not saying it doesn't happen (laced pot) but it is really quite unusual. Remember,

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Sun, 08-06-2006 - 9:07pm
Wouldn't work for me to become interested in anything she might be interested in right now. It would have the opposite effect. That's how she always has been. Now maybe if DAD seems interested... MAYBE that would encourage her. He is a hard one to talk to about that kind of thing. If I suggest to him that he encourage her, he gets all defensive and tells me not to tell him what to do. Honestly, he and DD are much alike. Hard for both of them to give any compliments to anyone. If I encourage her, she will back right off the activity that seems healthy. I've seen it so many times. It's like she doesn't want to be recognized by me. It breaks my heart too. I've always tried to have good communication with my three kids and have fun with them. This particular DD just steps back away from all that. There are occasional times when we have some nice conversation and fun times, but i just wish there could be more. For now, I keep asking DH to please handle things with her. Lately he has been pretty good about it.
Deb
Debbie
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Registered: 08-05-2004
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 5:50pm

>>I don't know about a kid peeing his pants and then some sort of paralytic reaction, I'm guessing urban legend or there is a lot more you don't know to the story.<<


He may have also had an allergic reaction. Not common, but possible.


>>Someone who laces it is probably doing it for their OWN use, as in on THAT joint not dousing a big stash for sale.<<


Precisely. Occasionally I'll mix a little opium with my marijuana -- but I don't lace anything in mass quantities and don't know anyone who does. Perhaps that's because my marijuana is for personal use and not sale, but if I were to sell it, the buyer would probably notice the higher price. Furthermore, if I use anything to lace my marijuana, everyone who is smoking with me is informed of exactly what I used and how much. Not all people who use drugs are willing to risk the well-being of others without their knowledge or consent. If the boy in question knew that the marijuana was laced, and didn't tell the OP's DD, I would use that as evidence against his character -- not the fact that he smokes weed. Statistics suggest that 1 in 5 teens use pot, and I promise you that number is higher among college kids. Thus, it's a bit of a misnomer to say that every individual

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Registered: 11-29-2005
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 11:13am
Absolutely true on all points!




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Registered: 11-05-2003
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 12:27pm
You asked when they become more responsible -- well that usually happens around the age of 19 or at least that is when my two oldest daughters started acting responsible. My youngest is 16 now and is driving me insane. I have come to the conclusion that she does things just because she knows it pisses me off. I can't wait til she is 19 -- hopefully she will not have totally screwed up her life by then.
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Registered: 05-12-2003
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 3:35pm
Okay then I feel better. When DD was 16 she DID practically drive me insane and I drank way too much. Now, she is getting better and showing a little more maturity... there IS hope. By the time she's about 19, things might be okay (keeping my fingers crossed that she doesn't ruin her life by then too). BTW I no longer drink and feel I have made progress as a parent as well. Good thing.... I have a DS 15 and DD 12 to get through yet. Thank God they are not as oppositional though. Thanks Wolverine for the info on weed; I can relax a LITTLE bit (sigh).
Deb
Debbie

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