How do you let go
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| Wed, 03-01-2006 - 12:23pm |
I have no idea how to let go. Most of you have read some of the things we have went through with my 17 year olds almost 20 year old b/f. There are many other things that have happened that I have not mentioned because I don't want to bore you all.
Everyone sees my how my daughter is being treated but her. She makes excuses for this boy all the time defending his actions. She as of right now is planning on marrying this guy. I am trying not to say much I really am. But how do you just step back and watch your daughter make what alot of people says is a very huge mistake.
The thing is he treats her good when it suits himself, saying sweet things to her. But boy when it goes against what he wants then he turns it around. The thing is one time this boy told me (his g/f mother, this is to prove how dumb this kid is) that my daughter was mad at him for some reason. I asked him what he was going to do about. He told me nothing she will come around she always does cuz I can talk her into anything cuz shes gullible. In a way my daughter is gullible but in another way she is trusting thinking people are going to treat her how she treats them.
I am so scared for my daughter but I also know the more I say the more she turns toward him. Shes a great girl who is beautiful inside and out, but for some reason lacks self esteem thinking that no one one else would ever want her and that is afraid of being alone.

I wish I had an answer for you.....the kind that would make it all better. All I can do is repeat: The less you say, the better. Unfortunately, this is a rite of pasage for some girls. This may be her way of finding out what she doesn't want in a mate. I had a terrible boyfriend at that age and I have been married to a very wonderful, kind man for 27 years. I learned not to settle for an idiot & I bet she will, too.
I really do sympathize with you on the "letting go" issue. It was so much easier when they were toddlers and all we had to do was scoop them up to remove them from harrm's way!
Hang in there!
jt
You know, I'm anxiously waiting to see the replies because I am expecting to go through this same issue - weird huh?
DD has like 10 really nice sweet guys that like her and she wants nothing to do with them she'll like the one bad seed in the bunch. She's always been like that and I'm seeing the trend. I try to bite my tongue a lot while having flashbacks to me at 18 and every guy I brought home my parents hated and of course the more they said the more I held on to the guy. Of course I ended up marrying one of them and learned quickly that my parents were right.
DD tends to levitate to the stoners - she says they are funny and make her laugh. That terrifies me and I just keep my fingers crossed that I've done something right!! Time will tell I guess...
Good luck and lots of hugs....