How much on Christmas gifts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
How much on Christmas gifts?
23
Sun, 11-25-2007 - 1:11am
My dh has been under a lot of work pressure and his bonus due end of the year has just been put off until the end of January.

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Avatar for jbgattuso
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Sun, 11-25-2007 - 10:25am

By everything you have said in previous posts....private boarding school, a house in one place, renting a house in another, private tutors, Nanny's

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-25-2007 - 11:04am

He won't let me do the bills with him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
Sun, 11-25-2007 - 11:22am
Oh gosh I just wrote you a long reply and my computer wouldn't post.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
Sun, 11-25-2007 - 11:27am
I wrote you a long thank you note this morning and I couldn't post it--something went awry with the computer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Sun, 11-25-2007 - 12:10pm

Could it be that all the spending (i.e. the tutors, the birthday party, nannies, two homes...) has been too much? You do seem to have a lot of expenses. And if your DH is not getting the bonus till the end of January, it could be that your bank account is getting dangerously low? If you had to depend on a bonus for extras like Christmas presents, there is something wrong here. A bonus should be just that, a bonus.

Instead of worrying about Christmas presents (believe me there are worse things than kids not getting presents under a tree), we two should go and see a financial planner/debt specialist. You have to know what your true financial situation is. I repeat YOU HAVE TO FIND OUT WHAT YOUR TRUE FINANCIAL SITUATION IS.

Do you have a household budget? What are your debts? How much a month is costing you to service your debt? You have to have visibility on your expenses because you are part of the problem and part of the solution.

Instead of being upset at him, understand that he might be felling overwhelmed with all the expenses. Sit down with him and tell him that you are not a child. You need to know so you can participate in the solution. Then make a comprehensive list of all your expenses versus your "available funds". Cut everything that is not necessary. And I mean "every thing that is not necessary". Find work-a-round. If that means getting rid of the extras, DO IT. Get your daughters involved. They are old enough to learn that money doesn't grow on trees. And under no circumstances should you get further into debt by borrowing money for X-mas presents. Sell junk you don't need first.

You know the people that have money are usually the people that have been careful how they spend it. They are not the people who live like they have lots of money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-25-2007 - 1:01pm

I am looking to spend 300 on each of the boys this year. I never set a figure when they were little as it was more about the number of packages so it was uneven with age differences. Now, though, with 16-22, I have set that figure the past couple years and its worked well

That said, there is nothing going on in our lives to cause us to deviate from that-if there was, there would be one 30 dollar ish item for each and that would be it! They would understand. It likely would have been more difficult for them to accept a change as little tykes; they are money savvy enough by now to 'get it'

For at least the very reason of getting your girls money savvy, you need to get more involved in the family finances. And DH? I dont envy him being the good guy one week and the bad guy another week. New Years resolution time!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
Sun, 11-25-2007 - 1:03pm

thank you--your response is so right on.

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-25-2007 - 1:10pm

I agree with Julie that teens are plenty old enough to understand "lean times."

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Sun, 11-25-2007 - 1:35pm

Should can not be changed. It is in the past. All you can deal with now is the now.

Since you both grew up with no money (I too), you know that there is worse things than having no money. It is time to get back to the basics. You wrote that your DH has a Phd and that you were a teacher. Why do you need a SSAT coach or tutor? Do it yourselves! If your DH could get a Phd and you a teacher's certificate, you are more than capable of helping your child prepare.

You will be surprise how simply you can live and be much happier as well.
How about "making things"? A promise of time? Promise your daughter you will spend X amount of hours per week with her alone? Tell your daughters you will be teach them how to sew or knit or bake or whatever?
Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Sun, 11-25-2007 - 2:44pm

We don't do anything big (holidays or birthdays).

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