We are kind of fortunate in that we don't have a seperate room that is really away by itself. When my kids have friends over they are usually in the livingroom which is on the first floor with the kitchen, diningroom and office. There is nowhere else for them to entertain. When Kelsie was dating a couple different guys there was never a problem, because they never got that much privacy. They would be alone in the livingroom or kitchen or back porch and did have privacy to talk, but to really get into anything....nope!
When she was at their house she used to complain to me that their moms would always be obvious about coming down to do the laundry or check on it every 15 min or so. She was probably 15 at the time. But they hardly were ever alone there either, we parents had the same kind of agreement about the kids doing one on one dating.
We don't check on the kids in the media room if they are not dating, but when DS was dating this last girl and we found out they had had sex.....too late hugh, of course it was at the girls house.
It's funny that you should mention this. My DD just started going out with a new bf yesterday. (He just asked her, and she said yes.) There was all kinds of drama with her last bf--who was her first--and part of it was that (according to them) my DH and I were too "strict" because we had rules about what they were and were not allowed to do here in our house. For example, we didn't want him hanging all over her, when they were on the couch they both had to have "both feet on the floor", and we would check on them periodically if they were in our finished basement.
I don't have the perfect mathematical answer.....and I haven't had to deal with this yet but....I remember my OWN adolescence a little too well and when bf was over 5 or 10 minutes of alone time was sometimes enough...
(sorry too much information)
I guess what I'm saying is certainly check on them, rules to leave doors open, lights on etc. but in the end they are going to do what they want to do and where there is a will there is a way.
We have talked about sex and how unexpected things can happen (ds is adopted and had teenage birthparents), so he knows better than to think that nothing can happen.
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We are kind of fortunate in that we don't have a seperate room that is really away by itself. When my kids have friends over they are usually in the livingroom which is on the first floor with the kitchen, diningroom and office. There is nowhere else for them to entertain. When Kelsie was dating a couple different guys there was never a problem, because they never got that much privacy. They would be alone in the livingroom or kitchen or back porch and did have privacy to talk, but to really get into anything....nope!
When she was at their house she used to complain to me that their moms would always be obvious about coming down to do the laundry or check on it every 15 min or so. She was probably 15 at the time. But they hardly were ever alone there either, we parents had the same kind of agreement about the kids doing one on one dating.
Kristie
Hi Sue,
We don't check on the kids in the media room if they are not dating, but when DS was dating this last girl and we found out they had had sex.....too late hugh, of course it was at the girls house.
Kristie,
I Love your new Siggy....it's good to "see" you :)
Don't worry about being obvious.
I don't have the perfect mathematical answer.....and I haven't had to deal with this yet but....I remember my OWN adolescence a little too well and when bf was over 5 or 10 minutes of alone time was sometimes enough...
(sorry too much information)
I guess what I'm saying is certainly check on them, rules to leave doors open, lights on etc. but in the end they are going to do what they want to do and where there is a will there is a way.
Pages