How teens should trick or treat?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
How teens should trick or treat?
20
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 5:53am

On Halloween, do you let your teen dds go trick or treating with a group of friends--or do you tale behind them.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2003
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 6:02am

Well, since you no longer live nearby, I don't think it's inappropriate to have someone "tail" them to *be* nearby in case they need anything, assistance included. When my dd17 was still into trick or treating, I let her go alone with a group of friends in my neighborhood. I feel safe with my neighborhood, know many of the people here personally, and there are a *lot* of parents to keep an eye on them even when I can't personally see them myself. No matter where they went in the neighborhood, there was always a house nearby where we knew somebody, so they could go to that house if they needed to.


I think anytime girls are wandering around at night is a cause for concern. I'm actually less concerned about it on Halloween because I know there are a ton of parents out on the streets as well and a lot of "open doors" such as yours used to be. I'm a big believer in going with your gut instincts and if you feel like the safe thing to do is have someone nearby, such as your babysitter, then by all means, do it! It sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 7:55am

Thanks for your advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2003
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 8:29am
Well, I kinda look at it as the laws of the jungle. There are dangers in the jungle. You know that there are tigers out there looking to hunt you and eat you. If you live in a jungle, you learn the rules of the jungle, and you learn to protect yourself. You don't just go prancing through the jungle, having a good time, and pretend the tigers aren't there. The laws of the city and suburbia, to me, are that there are predators out there. They like to look for the weakest and most vulnerable. Just like a tiger. Girls and women may not like this, but it is true. So we must learn to protect ourselves. Young girls do not have the experience or maturity to be always aware of their surroundings nor do they have sufficient brain development to always make safe decisions. I see it as my job to not only teach my dd how to protect herself, but also, as she was growing, to inform her that young girls alone are a predator's dream come true. I do not walk alone at night. Not because I am afraid, but because it is a bad idea. Even a couple of other women walking with me is not necessarily a good idea. We become a potential target. We make ourselves vulnerable. Girls are even more vulnerable than full-grown women. That's why I did not allow my dd to be alone at the mall, movie theater, etc, until she was much older. I may have been the odd mom out a lot of times, but I don't care. I explained to my dd it wasn't that I didn't trust her, it was that I didn't trust other people. I didn't want her to be that moving target. It's not such a big deal to have a parent supervising. The girls just need to realize it has nothing to do with maturity and everything to do with safety. It doesn't mean we have to walk around afraid, it just means we have to be aware of what reality is. If you live in a jungle, you live by the rules of the jungle. You don't have to cower in fear of the tiger, but you do have to protect yourself, take precautions, and acknowledge the fact that he is out there and he could eat *you*. That's not being nervous, that's being smart. If you were a predator, who would you pick? The group of 3 thirteen-yr-olds alone at the mall or the 1 fourteen-yr-old with her mother? Who do you think would be the easier target? Educating our kids on personal safety is important and continuous. I know my dd was much more understanding and cooperative (though she wasn't always thrilled) when she had a better understanding of why there was a need for adult involvement in her activities out in public places. I gave her examples of news stories, statistics, etc. to support my decisions. I also explained to her how I practice personal safety and that that never stops, even when you're a grown woman. So if you're wondering if you're alone, you're not!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 9:46am

A related question would be "how old is too old"? My daughter's last year to trick or treat was age 12. My son seems to think he's going this year (he's 16). I told him that I think that's a bad idea, and that I sure as heck don't give candy to kids that old who show up at my door, but there's always a few who do. Is this another kind of "town by town" thing? (I remember being surprised when I moved here. The town where I grew up is only a couple hours away, but we always did our trick or treating AFTER dinner -starting around 6:30 or so. Here the kids start RIGHT after school - and it's pretty much all over by dinner (except for the teens, so I just lock my door and turn out the lights).

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 12:16pm

We all love Halloween, but ds15 stopped trick or treating at 11. That seems to be the cutoff here, which I prefer as I really don't like teens coming to my door anyway. I feel it's for the little ones. When I was growing up, once we got to about 12, we had parties, not trick or treating. We did go out on a scavenger hunt, which was a blast, but not the door to door stuff for candy.

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 12:39pm

My DD has announced (at age 17) this will be her last year of trick-or-treating with her friends. There are about 5 girls maintaining this tradition

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 12:53pm
no, it isn't the "girl/boy" thing - what does it for me is that she and her friends get all costumed up. I'll cheerfully "treat" the teens that go to some effort and are polite (and don't show up past my bedtime, LOL) What irritates me is the ones that just throw on a dime store face mask and call it good. To me, that shows that it is NOTHING but a greedy "candy grab" for them. So if a group of boys wanted to go all out, I'd be okay with that, too (althoug, ironically, it is usually the boys that don't)! ps - since I posted my last one, my daughter (14) informed me that she doesn't think it is safe for her nine year old sister to go alone, and she knows I really hate trudging around in the cold, SOOO....her and her friend are kindly volunteering to "help me out" by putting on costumes and taking Kiana around for me. ROTFL!!
Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 1:06pm

Maybe it's a regional thing, but here, teens actually trick or treating is frowned upon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-1998
Sun, 10-21-2007 - 6:24pm

Last year, I let my two middle boys, ages 13 and 10 at the time, go trick-or-treating in our subdivision together.

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-21-2007 - 6:51pm

> > in our community is heralded at 6 p.m. with the sounding of the civil defense siren and ended at 8 p.m. the same way. < <


What a great idea!

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