I couldn't believe it
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 09-07-2007 - 7:42am |
Hi all,
I just thought I would tell you about what happened here yesterday. Long story but;
DS just turned 16 in June. We bought him a new car and he got it on his birthday. About two weeks after his birthday he called me one morning after he had left for rehersal and told me he had gotten pulled over on the way to rehersal. you can imagine my heart sunk, and he sounded soooo upset :( I asked him what happened and he said, "I don't really understand, the officer told me that somthing was expired on my car?" I said well that can't be, it's a brand new car. He said, well the officer gave me a ticket and told me that if I took care of it withing 10 days it would go away.
Come to find out it was his inspection sticker that was indeed expired. It expired two days before he got pulled over and only 2 weeks after we bought the car. Needless to say, I knew there was a mistake somewhere, so I went to the dealership and they profusly apologized and did a new inspection on the car and put the new sticker on the car. I still don't know exactly how it happened because the car only had 40 miles on it, but it was a 2006 model that sat on the lot.
Anyhow, I took all the information to the court house to get rid of the ticket, including information from the dealership stating that they were to blame. WELL, the lady at the counter said, "oh I'm sorry mam, your son is a minor and because of this, no matter what, he has to appear in court with a parent. We will send you a notice of his court date within 2 weeks.
Ok, fast forward, his court date was yesterday. I was very upset that we had to go through this as he was missing part of his last period and would be missing part if not all of rehersal. (take a good kid doing good things and make him go to court) uggghhh.
Anyway, we went in and there were at least 10 kids most of which looked like thuggs. They were dressed impropperly and most were ignoring their parents and looking like they were very incovienced by being there. My DS was very nervous, so much so that I told him not to worry, as this wasn't really his fault. I did tell him we would enter a guilty plea as it was our responsibility to look at the sticker on his car, but with an explanation. I also told him that his father and I would take that responsibility as we were planning on teaching him things about the car as they came up (ie. you have to get this done when the sticker expires every two yrs.)
anyhow, the first kid and his parents got up in front of the judge and the judge proceeded to list his offences; Running a red light, DWI, possesion of narcotics and possesion of tobacco. He was 16. He said nothing and his parents went on and on about how they know this was an isolated instance and that they would make sure he never did it agian. The Judge asked him what he planned on doing in the future and the kid mumbled something...really I couldn't even hear him. The judge said, well son, you know that these things can effect your future and I don't want that to happen to you. He gave him fines on all of the charges and then said, I am going to make this a (somthing like) postponed judgement, which means if you stay out of trouble for 130 days this will all be wiped from your record.
UGGGGG, DS and i just sat there looking at eachother. We couldn't believe it. (my brother did 30 days in jail for a first offence of DUI in Michigan, and believe me this is a guy who had a few beers, got pulled over becuase the cops were waiting outside of the parkinglot of the bar he was in (sorry I digress)
The biggest thing I have a problem with is that this Judge just made a lier of my husband and I. We have told our DS's how anyone of these things could ruin their future and what serious consequences come with making those kinds of choices.....serious consequenses.....I guess not. I guess it really depends on the judge. The good news is that DS "gets it" and said, man if I were the judge I would at least make him spend a night or two in Juvinille detention even just to scar him. The only thing that this kid said that I could hear was when the judge asked him if he had any questions was "when do I get my liscense back? Real remorseful hugh?
DS was next and the judge asked him if he had proof that the inspection had been done. DS handed him the paper showing it and started to say " I also....and the judge said in a snappy way, I don't need to hear more, "case dismissed"
Oh well, as glad as I was that that was the way it turned out.....I am firm about the fact that this was NOT a good experience for my son, in any way shape or form :( Oh well, I guess this is just how life is and we all see it from time to time. I will say that I walked out of that court room, thanking my lucky stars and feeling very proud of my DS whom somtimes I think I want to strangle LOL :) Have a good day all!
Julie

Well, I've had some experiences with the legal "justice" system and there is rarely any justice involved. For your own comfort, just know that a DWI charge never really "goes away" and if that other kid ever gets another charge for anything, the courts and/or police will be able to see it and he will be sentenced accordingly, unless of course, he has a really good attorney. The only way to really get rid of an arrest record is to get it legally expunged and that is an expensive and time-consuming legal process. Most people never actually do that. Employers and colleges and others looking at the kid's criminal records won't see the charges, but the courts and the police will always be able to see it.
As for your son, while it was an unfortunate hassle for him to have to go through what he did, it was probably a positive experience in the long run. People, myself included, can be very lazy about inspections and tag expirations. These things can then snow-ball into bigger legal problems and people have even gone to jail for such minor offenses when they are not properly disposed of because bench warrants will eventually be issued. Your son learned this early and certainly in a harsh manner, but hopefully he will not ever be lazy about keeping up with such paperwork throughout his adult life and has also learned that cops can and do pull people over for very minor issues. This can also be a deterrant for him should he ever (god forbid) consider driving drunk or carrying drugs in his car. He knows without a doubt that he can be pulled over for the slightest of reasons and he may have that fear in him to keep his act together in the future, no matter what.
I wouldn't be too bitter about it because really, its just the way it is.
That is too bad about the judge.... BUT Julie, doesn't it make you feel good when your teen actually 'gets it'????
You are so right about it maybe helping him to be responsible about the "stickers" I hadn't thought of that one....and believe me, I was trying to see the *good* in this one. Thanks :) Oh, also, I'm not too bitter, just really baffled and I am sure some of it came from my brothers situation where we all just couldn't believe that he had "the book" thrown at him :)
Julie
Cheryl,
Yes, it did make me happy that DS "gets it" :) Thats interesting that you should mention the school work....that one always bugged me when the kids were little, especially when they still thought that dad and I should be doing more FOR them :) I'm so glad I'm not doing high school homework for them, but many do as they have been doing their work all along :)
Julie
It's very possible that the judge was familiar with the kid that he let off, and he was just giving him enough rope to hang himself in the future.
Can anyone suggest a boarding school for troubled teens that is less than $2000.00 a month?
Thanks
I guess the point is, in trying to teach our children right and wrong, is that while it is important to respect the laws, when it comes to "doing what is right", its the action that matters and not just "getting caught".