I don't know how to help DD!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
I don't know how to help DD!!
10
Tue, 12-11-2007 - 1:49pm

Today was the second day this week that

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Tue, 12-11-2007 - 2:25pm

I don't have any good advice for you. I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. My DD can be very surly a lot of the time, especially when she doesn't get what she wants. I have noticed that she is nicest to me when she's about to ask me to buy her something or take her to the mall! My DD is a good kid, overall, but she is also exceptionally self-centered. I think much of that is just the age. I'm pinning my hopes on what everyone w/ older kids as said, i.e., that they will outgrow this.


I just drove 20 minutes away to the next town--while I have plenty of other things to do--to buy new buttons to replace the buttons on a sweater I just bought my DD. SHe didn't like the ones it came with because it's "too much bling"! Yet if I ask her to do something for me around the house, like take the trash out, I will get a big song and dance from her. She just doesn't get it. I think all we can do is point out to them when they are behaving selfishly, or when they are hurting other people's feelings. I also try not to react when she acts manipulatively. Good luck. I hope others here will have some good advice for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 12-11-2007 - 3:31pm

Isn't there a book called something like "get out of my life, but first can you drive me to the mall?"


I think that teens are all self-centered to a point.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 10:28am
I think we are generally in the same boat. If your daughter has a different personality than my daughter, then maybe these things that I did might work for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 10:54am

She says school is boring, yet she is behind on her work, I would think she wasn't challenged enough, but seeing her fall behind tells me otherwise.


It may well be that she's behind because she is bored.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 3:01pm

Yeah I read that book.


The thing is I wake her up with plenty of time, and yes SHE SLEEPS through ANYTHING!! Her alarm which she sets every night wakes me up sometimes, its so loud, but she is sound asleep. I go through 30-45 minutes of "DD wake up, get up its getting late" Every 5 min or so, I go in her room while getting ready myself. And each time its..."yeah im coming gimme a minute.." If I stand and wait for her to get up, the battle begins and she still doesn't get up.


I do the punishment thing, but not rewardwise. I don't reward her for doing what she is SUPPOSED to do. If she goes beyond what she needs to like being ready 15 min ahead or so, I compliment her on her accomplishment but that is as far as I take it.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 3:55pm

Yes, I agree to a certain extent on the school idea. Its easy for my daughter to get lost in schoolwork. She just doesn't take homework serious enough, since she does good on tests, she thinks she can just forget homework. One of her teachers warned her about this behaviour the first week of school, she was offended that he pointed her out that way. But its true. And she admits it to herself.


As for the weight problem, no she doesn't have a weight problem. She was a bit heavier in her pre-teen years but has since grown into her body. She is a well developed young woman now. And she has been steady in her weight for a few years now...My comment was that she uses any and all excuses to cover for her bahavior. Ex: she said that because she spent hours obsessing on what to wear because nothing fits her (her way of asking for new clothes) she couldn't concentrate on doing homework and when she was finally ok, it was time to go to sleep. And then in her sleep she couldn't stop thinking of her not finishing her work for tomorrow therefore having a bad night, which equals to why she was having a difficult time getting up that morning. And ofcourse, she can't talk to me while getting ready, she has to be in bed, under the blankets not moving or doing anything...and not as fast and to the point as I did, but sporadic and in tears...with s few screams here and there...


About her ortho, all I am saying is that in her mind it is my

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 4:29pm

Is it close enough for her to walk to school if you don't drive her?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 10:55pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 12-13-2007 - 8:35am

I do the punishment thing, but not rewardwise. I don't reward her for doing what she is SUPPOSED to do. If she goes beyond what she needs to like being ready 15 min ahead or so, I compliment her on her accomplishment but that is as far as I take it.


Under normal circumstances, I would agree with you, but you have a cycle of negativity happening with your DD, and something has to happen to turn that around.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Thu, 12-13-2007 - 9:26am

I'm not a professional.