I just cant figure out my teenage boy .

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2007
I just cant figure out my teenage boy .
3
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 3:46am
Hi , my teenager will be 17 this month of July . I cant figure out if he is a good kid , bad kid , or misunderstood kid. he can be disrespectful but he tells me he is joking and that i shouldnt take him too seriously. when i ask him to do things he says no , but then says yes but is shaking his head no . I get so frustrated. sometimes I just think that he wants to make me loony. tonight he went out with a friend and i told him to come home before nightfall . he didnt , so soon after it was getting dark i took the car to look for him . i spotted him and he was very casual about it saying he was going to go eat with his friend and be back home around 10 pm.. he said his phone was at his friends house. I found this extremely inconciderate and also told him what about coming home before dark?? he said oh ~ uuuuuggggghhhh ... i forgot ? . so i told him to take his phone next time and he said uggh ~ yea . doesnt make me too confident. he tells me he isnt as bad as I think he is but at the same time , he repeats behavior that i have told him a hundred times to stop doing . he really is making me soo stressed out i am feeling like i just want him to grow up and leave ! i feel like a horrible mother for saying that but at the same time I have a toddler that needs me and i dont know how much more stress I can deal with . it is really hard to describe his behavior .he gets really stubborn when i say something he doesnt want to hear and lets just say that it almost seems that he enjoys getting under my skin . is anyone going through this as well or has anyone been through this ? I feel really lost and stressed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 8:12am

BTDT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 8:33am
He sounds as though he isn't good, bad or misunderstood....just normal. I know exactly what you are feeling. He sounds the same way my DS was and to an extent still is LOL. I think at this age they are trying to exert some form of independence from the family and prove they are there own person, even if there aren't that many rules. The summer my son was 18 he drove me insane, not with anything specific, just his attitude. I felt guilty cause I couldn't wait for him to go to college, although I knew I would miss him. Things were so calm around the house then, actually almost too quiet!! I realized after I was trying to control him to an extent, and not letting go and letting him grow up and make his own mistakes. The not coming home and calling, I don't get why they rebel against that so much, he could never understand why I needed a time he would be home. I tried to explain it wasn't just for him, its common courtesy and I expect the same from his Father when he goes out, just letting someone know where you are and when you will be home. My DS is 21 now and a fine young man. He will still do things to get under my skin when he comes home, he thinks its funny. Hang in there a few more years and you will see your hard work pay off! And sometimes you just need to pick your battles and let somethings that really aren't that important go...it took me a looooong time to figure that out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2007
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 7:36pm

Hi there,
I know what you mean as I am the mother of two teenage sons. I also was the oldest of 5 ranging in ages from 16-1, so have seen it as a young person as well as a parent. My older son was a little more inconsiderate when it would come to curfew, but he began leaving me his friends cell phone or home phone number in case I was worried. If he would be staying overnight with a friend he always had a certain time to call by. If he didn't call, I usually knew where he was and could reach him if I had any questions. He is now on his own in Texas, but seems to have turned out quite well. He is more responsible for himself and his finances then many older people.

My younger son will be my challenge. He has a potty mouth sometimes and doesn't understand even if it is meant as a joke, you don't say things to your parents that you may say in joking to your friends. He will soon be taking his driver's education and this will also me some time to keep him under a degree of control.Once he has his permit he can't drive unless one parent is with him. As he won't want to drive with his dad, he will be asking me to go with him. For the first 6 months of his license he can only drive with members of his family. He can't drive with friends until after he has had his license for 6months. Both my sons have rechargeable(disposable) cell phones in case they need to get home because of friends risky behaviors or just because they want to remove themselves from the situation. They also are able to call home without having to use a pay phone or ask for someone to use their phone.

Hope this helps.