I wouldn't worry too much. Lots of times those special occasion dates don't remain in the picture for long, or they turn out to be just good friends with no true bf-gf relatonship. Both of our guys had at least one of those dates, but I don't think the parents of the boys or the girls were troubled by it, probably cuz all the teens were pretty clean cut.
(Neither of our DSs ever believed me when I told them that dress pants should be worn around the waist, and not 3 inches below. The no belt thing could be pretty typical. And our older DS has worn athletic shoes to semi-formals before; but not DS18--he's always been very particular about his clothes.)
Maybe he's a diamond in the rough? If I were to post a pic of my 3 guys when they were in hs, and not the one of them in uniform, they'd look a WHOLE lot different too. And none of them really got into the whole formal ball thing.
We have never kept up with dress clothing for the boys.
Two of the three are definitely not interested and even the stylish one wasn't THAT into it all. I know you have a boy and I assume its important to you and you lead a lifestyle where dress shoes in his current size get a workout.
We arent churchgoers and dont live around a big family to be in a position where wed be attending weddings and all. I never chose to spend money on something that would sit in the closet.
And the dress shoes I bought DS2 for the freshman dance didnt fit sophomore year
So, I totally get it! It's likely the way he has been raised and your dd might have to come to terms with that. If appearance is important to her, a 'relationship' likely isnt fair to either of them.
In terms of 'dressing up shows he respects her' (just a guess as to where this is coming from)? I respectfully disagree. How he treats her in private should REALLY be the yardstick. Plenty of men out there who pour on the charm in public go home and treat their wives like 'you know what'.
I don't trust the slick ones myself but I know I think differently than a lot of people
In general, I agree with this....but this was a special dance. I still don't see how his parents didn't see to it that he had the appropriate clothing--at least an ironed, untorn shirt, a belt, etc. Who wouldn't know that a kid needs to be dressed up for a semi-formal or formal dance?! I think it does show some disrespect towards the girl in this case, even if it is inadvertent.
I agree with you Rose. I meant that if his parents were indifferent and just let him go like that, then they were the ones showing disrespect. I don't think this boy was being disrespectful necessarily. Also, it doesn't take any money, really, to mend a shirt and iron it!
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I wouldn't worry too much. Lots of times those special occasion dates don't remain in the picture for long, or they turn out to be just good friends with no true bf-gf relatonship.
Both of our guys had at least one of those dates, but I don't think the parents of the boys or the girls were troubled by it, probably cuz all the teens were pretty clean cut.
(Neither of our DSs ever believed me when I told them that dress pants should be worn around the waist, and not 3 inches below. The no belt thing could be pretty typical. And our older DS has worn athletic shoes to semi-formals before; but not DS18--he's always been very particular about his clothes.)
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Parents of Sexually Active Teens Board
Kristie, what I wondered as I read your post about this boy is, could it be he just doesn't 'have anything' else?
We have never kept up with dress clothing for the boys.
Two of the three are definitely not interested and even the stylish one wasn't THAT into it all. I know you have a boy and I assume its important to you and you lead a lifestyle where dress shoes in his current size get a workout.
We arent churchgoers and dont live around a big family to be in a position where wed be attending weddings and all. I never chose to spend money on something that would sit in the closet.
And the dress shoes I bought DS2 for the freshman dance didnt fit sophomore year
So, I totally get it! It's likely the way he has been raised and your dd might have to come to terms with that. If appearance is important to her, a 'relationship' likely isnt fair to either of them.
In terms of 'dressing up shows he respects her' (just a guess as to where this is coming from)? I respectfully disagree. How he treats her in private should REALLY be the yardstick. Plenty of men out there who pour on the charm in public go home and treat their wives like 'you know what'.
I don't trust the slick ones myself but I know I think differently than a lot of people
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In general, I agree with this....but this was a special dance. I still don't see how his parents didn't see to it that he had the appropriate clothing--at least an ironed, untorn shirt, a belt, etc. Who wouldn't know that a kid needs to be dressed up for a semi-formal or formal dance?! I think it does show some disrespect towards the girl in this case, even if it is inadvertent.
Also, it doesn't take any money, really, to mend a shirt and iron it!
ITA.
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