I just want to cry.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
I just want to cry.
29
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 9:11pm

My beautiful, wonderful, sweet

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 9:32pm

I wouldn't worry too much. Lots of times those special occasion dates don't remain in the picture for long, or they turn out to be just good friends with no true bf-gf relatonship.
Both of our guys had at least one of those dates, but I don't think the parents of the boys or the girls were troubled by it, probably cuz all the teens were pretty clean cut.

(Neither of our DSs ever believed me when I told them that dress pants should be worn around the waist, and not 3 inches below. The no belt thing could be pretty typical. And our older DS has worn athletic shoes to semi-formals before; but not DS18--he's always been very particular about his clothes.)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 9:38pm
Maybe he's a diamond in the rough? If I were to post a pic of my 3 guys when they were in hs, and not the one of them in uniform, they'd look a WHOLE lot different too. And none of them really got into the whole formal ball thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 9:50pm
Let us know how the dance went, kristie.
Pam
Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Sun, 12-16-2007 - 12:49am

Kristie, what I wondered as I read your post about this boy is, could it be he just doesn't 'have anything' else?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Sun, 12-16-2007 - 9:12am
It's kind of sad, actually. How did his parents let him out of the house like that for a formal dance?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 12-16-2007 - 9:17am

We have never kept up with dress clothing for the boys.

Two of the three are definitely not interested and even the stylish one wasn't THAT into it all. I know you have a boy and I assume its important to you and you lead a lifestyle where dress shoes in his current size get a workout.

We arent churchgoers and dont live around a big family to be in a position where wed be attending weddings and all. I never chose to spend money on something that would sit in the closet.

And the dress shoes I bought DS2 for the freshman dance didnt fit sophomore year

So, I totally get it! It's likely the way he has been raised and your dd might have to come to terms with that. If appearance is important to her, a 'relationship' likely isnt fair to either of them.

In terms of 'dressing up shows he respects her' (just a guess as to where this is coming from)? I respectfully disagree. How he treats her in private should REALLY be the yardstick. Plenty of men out there who pour on the charm in public go home and treat their wives like 'you know what'.

I don't trust the slick ones myself but I know I think differently than a lot of people

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Sun, 12-16-2007 - 9:25am

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In general, I agree with this....but this was a special dance. I still don't see how his parents didn't see to it that he had the appropriate clothing--at least an ironed, untorn shirt, a belt, etc. Who wouldn't know that a kid needs to be dressed up for a semi-formal or formal dance?! I think it does show some disrespect towards the girl in this case, even if it is inadvertent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sun, 12-16-2007 - 10:43am
If this were the young man's choice, I might agree with his appearance showing a lack of respect for Kelsey.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Sun, 12-16-2007 - 10:53am
I agree with you Rose. I meant that if his parents were indifferent and just let him go like that, then they were the ones showing disrespect. I don't think this boy was being disrespectful necessarily. Also, it doesn't take any money, really, to mend a shirt and iron it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sun, 12-16-2007 - 11:12am

Also, it doesn't take any money, really, to mend a shirt and iron it!


ITA.

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