I love you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
I love you!
12
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 2:51pm
I’m just full of posts today! Just wondering… How old is your teen, and does he/she still tell you they love you? In front of friends? My dd is 13, and I’ve noticed just in the past few weeks that she won’t say it to me in front of her friends anymore. I still say it, though. I picked up one her friends last night to take them to a movie, and the girl said it to her mom in front of us, and she’s almost 15. I thought it was sweet and was a little jealous! Also, I’ve heard that they may stop saying it in front of their friends for a while, but the usually get over the embarrassment. Did your teen do that, and how long did it take for them to say it again?

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Avatar for jbgattuso
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
In reply to: times4
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:06pm

Hi there :) My oldest DS never stopped saying it to me, but still mostly it is an I love you M and he then says I love you to mom. Second DS wouldn't respond in front of friends from about 12 till just recently, 14. He would just smile, or even roll his eyes at me. He now says Love you too! I just never stopped saying it to them :)

just a side note. My DH's parents NEVER told him that they loved him. When we were first married, DH started saying it to his parents EVERY time he talked to them. They slowly started responding with a "you too", and just the other day after we have been married 17 yrs, DH's mother actually Said "I love you Doug" first :) Keep on saying it to those you LOVE :)

Julie

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: times4
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:14pm
My kids are 20 and 16. I don't really recall them ever not saying "I love you" when they were leaving for somewhere, or at the very least, "love you too". Maybe when they were early jr hi (about 12?) they may have cringed some, but quickly got over it. :) Now, if I don't say it first, they will -- even with friends around. Shoot, their friends even say "love you" to me when they all leave! LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
In reply to: times4
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:21pm
This is a sore point with me! My 15 y.o. DD has almost NEVER said it to us--only on very rare occasions and only after we've said it first. I mean, I could count the number of times on one hand. She doesn't come up and hug or kiss us either, and she doesn't particularly like being hugged. However, we tell her we love her every single day and I hug and kiss her at least once a day. My mother was the same way, so it really bothers me. What really gets my goat, though, is that when she had a bf, she told him she loved him all the time, plus he was a big hugger too. I tell myself that it's because she knows that we love her unconditionally, but if she didn't say it to him, he'd probably be upset. He ended up dumping her unceremoniously, but I don't think she learned anything from that! LOL. My DS, who is 13, used to always tell us he loved us until about the last year or so. He used to also give us big bear hugs, but no more. He does usually come and give me a kiss before he goes to bed at night. I'm certain he would never show any affection towards us in front of his friends!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
In reply to: times4
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:26pm
Don't feel bad, I am right with you.

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
In reply to: times4
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 4:30pm

I believe it was 3rd grade when ds wouldn't let me even have the radio on when I dropped him off at school. I can't imagine ANY age other than maybe preschool where it would've been ok for I love yous in public! He does tell me in private though, usually after we've had an altercation! But sometimes he does get 'cuddly' and just says it, or comes up with a big bear hug (he's now 6.5" taller than me). None of the 3 of us are that open with I love yous though...

Sue




Edited 6/26/2007 4:46 pm ET by suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
In reply to: times4
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 4:34pm

I still get "love you" from my DD - if I forget to say it (like when going to bed or hanging up the phone) she says it (and pouts a little if I don't say "love you too". So far she's not shy in front of her friends, but maybe just a little quicker.

My DS (8) still gives me hugs and kisses - even in front of his friends, and always wants to hold my hand. Sometimes I'll get an "oh mom" if I try a hug when he's already playing with friends!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2005
In reply to: times4
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 5:21pm
WOW! Our DD is this way also, rarely saying it, and even then only when you pull it out of her. Yet bf gets it non stop, same with the hugs. I don't have a problem with the hugs, lots of teens aren't comfortable with the difference between a parent and bf/gf hug. Just wish I would get the words sometimes.
The boys on the other hand are no problem, even with me, but especially DW gets lots of affection from her boys. I remember being the same way with my own mother and still am in fact. lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
In reply to: times4
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 10:00pm
I'm so glad to hear your DD is like that too! At least I'm not alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
In reply to: times4
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 9:06am

My boys are 16 and 14, and both still tell me and my DH that they love us. In front of friends, too.

My oldest DS works in my office, and has even left me notes at my desk telling me he loves me.....it's sweet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
In reply to: times4
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 11:06am

Both my DD15 and DS13 will still say "I love you". DS, most likely will not in public (though I typically tell him I love him when I drop him off for school) but will sort of nod his head in acknowledgement.

DD tells me she loves me pretty much no matter where we are. Several months ago, I dropped her off for a school function. We met one of her friends and her mother outside the facility and DD gave me a hug, a kiss and said "love you mommy". Mommy! The other mother was floored and insisted her DD do the same. It was all good fun, though. DD and the other girl are very comfortable around one another so there was no hard feelings or embarassment.

 

 

 

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