I miss him...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2004
I miss him...
3
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 1:58pm

Posted this on the college board but for those of you currently being driven crazy by your high schooler, here's some food for thought and what I shared with the college parents...

he drove me crazy his entire high school years, there were days I literally had steam coming out my ears from his antics. He's come far, has a long way to go, but he went off and he's okay. I had a business meeting near his school(for real, not made up just to see him, lol)and offered to stop by and take him out to dinner (I gave him plenty of opportunity to opt out of the dinner)but he sounded excited to see me, even took me on a walk around to show me stuff I'd never seen on campus, I oooh and awwwwed like crazy). It had been his first day of classes. He seemed excited by this and seemed fine. Over the summer my DH and I did our best to drive home the message "you know, if you don't go to class and study you won't stay etc." We let him know that up until this point in his life we had to send him to school, but from this point forward, we really weren't under any obligation to educate him, that it is a gift and if he decides to waste it, we'll save our money and he can quit school and work. So anyway, maybe he actually heard us because he said in his first classes he was surprised that not everyone had their books (I assured him that wasn't so odd, but glad that he'd got his) and that one professor gave a preclass assignment that he had ready and he said he didn't notice anyone else turn one it in. He also told me he canceled his facebook account, too tempting and too much of a time waster. I almost fell off my chair! Hmmm, could be just what he thought I needed to hear, but he seemed genuine. I patted him on the back and smiled and told him I knew he had what it takes to make it, and reminded him that everyone has their own path, and to just keep concentrating on his. I didn't give him any lectures, I didn't comment on his new look, yes he'd changed a few things already, I just kept looking at him and listening harder than ever to every little story he divulged.
I drove all of you crazy with my worries over the years (and you know I'll be back, lol)and couldn't wait to send him off to college. He says he'll call once a week, our agreement, and since he doesn't respond I've stopped texting him my ocsasional "so how was today". I find myself - reminding myself - to "let him go", (and I really didn't think I'd have to do that with this one), to back off and give him the space he's earned. When he shared that sometimes he feels overwhelmed and out of sorts with all the newness and new people I reassured him that it was normal and would pass once he's had some more time to adjust...

But, I miss him, I really do...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2008
In reply to: fullmom2
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 2:39pm

I'm fairly recent here so I don't recall all the trials and tribulations with this particular DS...But you sound SO PROUD!! With good reason too! He did all of this on his own? I mean the pre-assignment, got his books, cancelled facebook as a potential time waster? I'd say he heard you loud and clear over the summer and was listening WAY harder than he let on!



Very exciting for him and for you- and for every parent here wondering IF our kids can make the transition! My last is a HS Soph. this year, so I have a few more years to prepare "us" (HA HA).

Community Leader
Registered: 06-27-2006
In reply to: fullmom2
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 2:51pm
Oh, I so happy for you and DS! I am also new to the board, so don't know what you and DS went through, but as a mom of a 16 year old son and a 15 year old daughter, I can only imagine! I can see how proud you are of him, now. Great job!





iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
In reply to: fullmom2
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 6:03pm
:D You betcha, I hear you loud and clear. I also had kids who made me nuts when they were in hs, but when they were gone, boy did I miss the chaos that they brought to life. One of the DSs 26 (the one that I vented about the most on this board over the years!) is back living at home for the time being, and in a way, I still miss the chaos he used to bring to the home. Though, on the other hand, it's really nice to have another adult around...