I need advice please
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| Mon, 08-06-2007 - 9:40am |
I came across a board that my daughter posts on, and found a question she answered there. It was "when did you lose your virginity?". She is 16 now but answered that she was 15 when she lost her virginity. My jaw dropped open. She has been liking this boy at school for a year now but I have not let her date yet. And the only time they have had time togehter has been parentaly supervised. So i cant imagine how or when or where this happened. Could it be that she posted that just to be 'one of the crowd' or do you suppose it actually happened? I am so torn up about this. I dont want to tell her what I saw because I want to be able to see future posts from her there. Its like having an inside window into her head. I dont want to give it away that I know about this board.
I honestly cant believe my daughter would have done this.
Any thoughts?
JAN

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As a mother to three boys I think not telling the father is not giving him the opportunity to BE the parent. Would it be different in the scenario if the child in question was a boy? I think if a young woman is not mature enough to have conversations with both of her parents about safe sex practices then she is probably not ready. Not all conversations will be easy but I think a male opinion in the conversation is important.
Also, talking to children about sex is not abdicating our role as a parent. It is still time to have the conversation about positive choices and to interject whatever the parent's personal beliefs are. Not to let children know what our opinions/experiences are leaves them to discuss sex with their peers - who often know diddly squat.
Courtney
There's a great big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day... there's a great big beautiful tom
I have 3 DSs and then a DD at the end of the line.
When I was younger, we did not talk about sex in my family. I learned about intercourse from a friend singing a "dirty" song, then about a week later I got up the nerve to ask my mom about it and that was the last we talked about it. There would have been no way that I would have talked to my mom if I had been SA as a teen. And the thought of ever talking to my dad about sex would have given me a stroke.
My dh has plenty of opportunity to be a parent and takes them. But like Rose said there are things that are between a mom and daughter that are personal.
Kristie
You feel that way b/c you don't have a dd.
> > > > I think if a young woman is not mature enough to have conversations with both of her parents about safe sex practices then she is probably not ready. < < < <
> > Then I guess I wasn't ready, and am still not ready, even three kids later because I would rather have a root canal than talk to my dad about sex - EVER! < <
ROFLMAOPMP!!! Me too!! I honestly believe one reason I didn't want to tell my parents that I was pregnant was because that implied I had had SEX!! AND, I was 31 yo and married at the time!!
<>
Nope - which is why I take every effort to talk to my boys about sex and the girl/woman's perspective. My point was not that - my point is how would YOU feel as a mother if your boys were having sex and dh knew but did not tell you? I think as mothers we tend to underestimate the dads. Had my father looked at me and talked to me about sex I probably would have made better choices.
Courtney
There's a great big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day... there's a great big beautiful tom
i don't want my sisters to learn that it's ok to do this.
Hugs to you spike121.
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