I survived!!
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| Sat, 07-01-2006 - 11:33pm |
I would throw myself a huge party if I had the energy. I just spent a solid week on a trip with the church youth group. There were 10 teens - 1 17 y/o, 1 15 y/o, 3 14 y/o, 3, 13 y/o, 2 12 y/o. We had 2 college age students, who are dating each other by the way and a retired gentleman who was the bus driver. The college students are the youth director and one of our interns.
We slept in the basement of an older church on concrete floors. We ate mostly sandwiches and junk food. I hugged a total stanger that brought us lasagna for supper one night and biscuits for breakfast the next morning.
There were many problems on this trip starting with we couldn't go through an organization b/c most require an age limit of 13 and we have a couple of 12 y/o's in the group. Then the original mission project we were lined up to do fell through 2 days before we were to leave. The youth director was then faced with finding another set of projects for us to do or cancelling the whole trip. We found some projects but our kids apparently work fast so they took about 1/2 the time the people thought it would so once again we were faced with way too much free time. The older boys have no respect at all for the college students b/c they are too close in age to do what they are told. But the youth director would get upset when I would intervene so it was a constant battle. There were 5 girls and 5 guys so there was major league flirting going on. Not to mention hen fights among the girls. I finally sat the girls down and told them that we were on this trip to serve God and I didn't see that happening. We were not being respectful of one another. I then asked them what they wanted to do about it. We had a good talk and wound up crying. The girls were much better the next day but the guys were just worse so I sat them down and had the same talk. They amazed me. I don't have sons so I didn't expect any feedback at all from them but they willing apologized among themselves for calling each other names, pulling pranks, leaving the nerds out, etc. It was a wonderful experience and the guys attitude also improved but then the youth director got his feelings hurt again b/c I accomplished this and he didn't. I understand he wants to be their leader and help them with these things but in all honesty he just hasn't figured out to handle them. He has tried talking with them one on one - well they just get defensive that way. When he does this, he also pretty much just tells them to straighten up. He doesn't give the youth a chance to figure out how to fix it. He's good in alot of ways and will get there in time but right now we are both really frustrated with one another. His g/f (the intern) came to me and told me about his hurt feelings and his frustration - I tried to explain it to her and I think she might have gotten some of it. I also told her that this is just part of growing up and God was using all the problems with this trip to help him grow up.
Oh and the illnesses and injuries - both college students throwing up with a stomach virus. the youth director got poison ivy and had to take benadryl so he slept during one of the major jobs we had. The 17 y/o got a mild concussion on day 1, sunburn on day 3, poison ivy on day 4. The 15 y/o only got a sunburn. One of the 14 y/os got a pretty severe strained back muscle and the other two got sunburns. One of the other 14 y/o's also got slammed into a tree playing ultimate frisbee and got a pretty nasty scrape on his back and then the next day he had an allergic reaction while we were cleaning out a church attic. One of the 13 y/o threw up all week long but felt great between throwing up. She apparently gets major car sick. Thankfully she didn't have the virus the other two had. One of the 12 y/o's broke her classes and got a migraine. The other one has major dust allergies and asthma. Oh and last night, the 15 y/o walked into a door and gave himself a nice shiner - he's quite proud of it (his first and he's a computer nerd).
Once again the youth director got his feelings hurt b/c I was the one doing most of the nursing, yet he didn't know what to give to who and he was so afraid of the church's policy on touching youth, he wouldn't rub in the biofreeze on the boy's back. Also, since he and the intern both had stomach virus's, I really didn't want them close enough to any of the youth to "doctor" them.
On the upside, we served meals to homeless people and was treated by one of our breakfast guests to some wonderful gospel piano music and singing. We witnessed a program put on by at risk youth. It focused primarily on black history and their future. Our teens really enjoyed it - there was drama, dancing, singing. It was wonderful. We cleaned out rooms to be used as food pantries. We sorted over 3,000 lbs of clothes to be distributed to low-income people. We raked and cleaned up the meditation garden at a camp for disabled children/teens. We also had lunch and played a few games with the campers. Our kids got to see God in homeless people, disabled children, and a very pregnant lady named Hannah.
All in all it was a tough week but a very productive one in many, many ways. My DD didn't get to go but she had her lesson in patience this week as well. She has some strange rash that itches. She had to stay with her father - they argue when I'm gone. She and her b/f fought alot and she had exams. She earned her A's so she saw the rewards of her patience.
Sorry this is so long but as most of you know I have to write it down to get it all out. Thanks for listening.

Wow, what a week you had!!!
Wow! What a trip! I probably would have been pulling my hair out or something!
But it also sounds like alot of fun. When young, I used to go on trips to the border and teach vacation bible school. They are some of my favorite memories.... and you should be proud to have given these kids this type of experience.
Now relax!!
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You hit the nail on the head about why the youth director got his feelings hurt. He very much wanted to prove his abilities with this trip. The majority of the things that happened were not his fault and really couldn't be avoided but he doesn't quite see it that way. And you are right, even a parent to a toddler usually has little clue as to how to be mom to teen. That's why I've always insisted that a parent go on these trips.
The guys just amazed me. The youth director knew I was going to talk with them but told me to expect them to get defensive or not to say respond at all. I think that is generally the response he gets from them when he tries to talk to them. I've been told by one of the older guys that he just lectures them so I wouldn't expect a response to that. I told them that it really hurt me to see them treating each other with such disrespect, especially when we were on trip representing Christ. I then told them that I was looking to them to solve this problem and asked for suggestions. That's when the apologizes started flowing. The older boy even praised one of the computer geeks/nerds for his efforts at flirting with the girls and for his attempts at playing ultimate frisbee. It was all in all a pretty good moment.
I got home yesterday around 10:00 a.m. Took a bath, hit the couch and didn't see, say or hear anything until around 4:00 p.m. My brain is still pretty fried.
One of the boys in the group has had a death in the family so tomorrow I'm going to take some of the others to visitation. It's about an hour drive. I'm a gluten for punishment!!