I wish it was just drugs or alcohol or armed robbery or whatever anything but this!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2010
I wish it was just drugs or alcohol or armed robbery or whatever anything but this!
12
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 11:27am

My DD high school student wants to be a Dr. Sounds great, right? The problem is that her grades are hideous to the extent that when she actually passes something or turns something in, we are joyous. She does have an LD which we have been working with but her not trying for whatever reason is driving me batty. Do I nag her? No. That gets nowhere and just makes the angst worse and gives her something (like me) to rebel against. She does not conform to any school rules she isn't in on so she ends up getting punished at school which we just watch in amazement that she would rather take the punishment than do what she needs to do. I don't get this wanting to be a doctor accompanied by blowing off her school work. Any insight?

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Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997

You don't mention ages, but I'll make some assumptions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2010
I have only ever shown him in black and white on paper what I have discovered myself. I never mention anything w/o documentation such as the being watched. Even things I see myself go unspoken unless I can get some documentation. So I am on top of that one. Of course when I discover something, he ends up shooting the messenger. I understand that he has to choose what makes him happy in life as do I have to choose what makes me happy and being on TV as the mom of a murdered son doesn't make me happy, KWIM? That's a good idea about the college books even though she is still a 10th grader. But I have shown her websites of colleges and the typical GPA of an accepted student to which she reples that she will bring her grades up. Um, when? And she has never done so since we have known her, I'm not holding my breath.
Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999

For your dd:

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2010

She did have an IEP but tested out of it. And yep she has revceived lots of workup. I am curtrently looking for a counselor. Whenever anybody suggests she look into a medical career lately I wanna scream. She takes that as what she does in school now it not important. Not sure how but that's how she takes it. My son won't withdraw as he is just too close to us and loves us too much. But I have not mentioned anything to him in months and trying to wrap my mind around accepting he may die at her hand,,,not easy. The only way I know he is still with her is the phone bill. Or maybe it's us she is after. After being married 30 years and never a problem in a neighborhood or attempted break in

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

She probably wanted to

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2008

First, what made DD think a medical career is being an MD, or does she have some other branch of medicine in mind? Ya know, even a CNA

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999

Would there be any elder care or nursing home facilities nearby where she could volunteer and at the same time get an idea of what really goes on in a medical facility? It's certainly NOT the glamour and excitement one sees on TV.

That is an excellent suggestion! My SIL teaches nursing classes, and it's amazing how many students had NO idea what they were getting into until they were required to get their CNA prior to starting their clinical training sites... and a fair number of them drop the program once they go through that CNA class.... it's HARD work!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2010
Well I look at his phone bill since I pay it. I was not the one that came up with the potential psycho thing but rather a PhD in psychology having done her doctoral dissertation on psychopathy who gently put it out there to me for consideration. In other words, my concerns are valid. Where my DD is concerned, she has wanted to be a Dr for the last few years and spends all of her birthday and christmas money on medical references which she devours. She is also pretty good at diagnosing stuff. One example, we have a friend who got up one morning and couldn't walk. After going to look up stuff she suggested to us that it's probably something in her immune system. And we found out a few days later that was exactly it but were dismayed by a concurrent cancer diagnosis as they were planning to give her chemo. DD suggested that we should check cuz she thought they were giving her chemo to give her immune system something to go after which was also on target. Also, whenever she has occasion to go to the Dr. she is all full of thoughtful questions. She already knows it's not glamor like on TV as one of her friend's mom is a Dr and of course DD asks her a million questions who tells me DD is probably on the right track. Unfortunately her grades don't bespeak that.

She adores elderly people and chats it up with all of my mil's friends in the retirement village she lives in. And DD already came up with volunteering at a retirement community this coming summer which I told her I thought was an excellent idea. When I talk to her about nursing she tells me that she doesn't want to take orders from somebody she wasn't woman enough to do herself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2010
Also the text after text received from her w/o any reply from him all through every hour of the night (atypical) was the same night that somebody was tampering with our door at approx. 3 am so it was an eye catcher. No, I don't know it was her but it's food for consideration. With any luck he will put it together himself. After "8 months of testing" it turns out that she doesn't have cancer after all after a supposedly positive diagnosis, at least where HE is concerned. DD came home from school all upset afer this as the gf apparently told another boy that morning before school that she "has cancer". I suggested that DD call DS to find out what's going on...2 birds with one stone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2008

I'm sorry if I've offended you. It sounds like you already have all the answers.

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