Ideas on talking to 16 year old about relationships

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2008
Ideas on talking to 16 year old about relationships
Sat, 08-13-2011 - 4:29am

Hi everyone -

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
I'd say stick with your plan - don't talk about her at all; just talk about relationships in general. And as for venue, if you two are in the car, sometimes that is a less intimidating place to bring awkward stuff up - and when you feel things are getting awkward, stop, so he doesn't feel pushed. Small doses should still get the messages you want in. Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Sat, 08-13-2011 - 10:09am

Hi and welcome to the board. The car idea is a good one - kids tend to be a captive audience there! Keeping it in general terms is a good idea, too. I'm not sure specifically what you want to discuss with him about relationships but if they've been going out almost a year chances are the relationship is further along than you might suspect. At the risk of getting him angry I'd also come right out and stress the importance of birth control for his gf and condoms for him. Even if he swears nothing is going on chances are after a year they already have or are getting close to having sex. Better a pissed off teen than a 16yo daddy to be. And believe me I never would have advised that 5 or 6 years ago but after having my then 19yo and his then gf come to us and tell us she was pregnant I'm much more realistic about these things. Good luck and keep us posted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sat, 08-13-2011 - 12:21pm

I always saved my "good" talks for the car, not only do you have a captive audience, but there's no awkward eye contact/lack of eye contact coz whoever is driving needs to keep eyes on the road.

I'm with Pam... talking in general terms is best, but throw in there a discussion about BC and the need to always use condoms.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Sat, 08-13-2011 - 10:07pm

I agree with the others. You don't want to have a big talk. You want to have a series of little ones in which you inject your thoughts and values. You can even just throw out a couple of lame one-liners: "I know you think that health class you had to take sophomore year was stupid, but I hope you also know that it's true condoms are the only thing that can protect against both pregnancy and STDs."

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
jlsjjsmom wrote:

Better a pissed off teen than a 16yo daddy to be.

Here in the south we pronounce that "peaced off" or "pieced off."