If I tell you the truth you will get mad
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| Thu, 05-17-2007 - 7:55pm |
"If I tell you the truth, you will just get mad, which is why it feels like you are forcing me to lie at times." That is what Shea, my lovely 17 year old daughter with a big mouth, told me today while we discussed after prom festivities. Not really what I wanted to hear. That was in response to why don't their friends and them just come over to our house after prom. When Reagan said because we just don't, I asked why because you want to get drunk and then Shea said the response on top. She further explained that if she had asked to go to a friend's house and said that there was a possibility of alcohol being there, I would not have let her gone (true). So she reasoned that she just leaves information out because if she told the complete truth I would not let her do it. This logic does not comfort me, especially because Shea and Reagan have been caught drinking before.
What are your kids planning on doing after prom? Are you going to let them stay in a hotel room? Will they have a curfew?
Stephanie

It is a tough one. DS18 has his girlfriend flying up from Arkansas and this will be her first trip up here, so she hasn't met any of his friends. One of his best friends turns 18 on prom day, so there is going to be a big "After Prom/Joel's BDay" bash after the dance. I am sure they will be attending, and to be honest I hope they do. My only concern is drinking and driving. I've chosen to not worry about the sex issue- he is going to turn 19 this summer and is leaving for college (the same one as GF) in August- worrying about sex at this point is just delaying the inevitable as far as I am concerned. It isn't to happen under my roof, and they sure as h&%@* better use protection when/if they do, other than that I just really don't want to know.
The high school sponsors a really dumb after prom party at a local bowling alley that runs from 12:30-2 am (prom is 9-12). Tickets are only $2 and include snacks, so most kids use that as a snack stop and make their "real" after prom plans and then take off from there together. What bothers me is that it puts so many of the kids out driving around at 2 am. Even if they haven't been drinking, no one is a particularly sharp and safe driver at that hour, especially when they've been out dancing and having a big night with friends.
Hi, Stephanie,
I hate that drinking thing.
My daughter will be going stag to prom this year - doesn't have any potential significant other (at least not one that I would let her go with, LOL)and basically has reached the point where she'd rather have fun with her gf's than put up w/some guy that wants to sit out every dance or whatever.
She will drive to one of her friend's houses across town and then a group of the "stag" girls are taking a limo down to the prom, coming back to that girl's house by limo and then she will either come home or drive a few blocks from the girl's house to another girl's house where they will all have a sleepover. Very square here - none of this particular group drinks or messes around and there are parents all over the place.
So, basically by present-day teen standards, pretty staid.
Regards,
Mary who's savoring every day of the following three weeks while her DD is still 17, LOL!
I had a formal (our word for prom) after-party at my house. Very low-key, just shot the breeze, rehashed the night, watched movies and so forth.
Only boys slept over at my house (one girl didn't go to the formal and the other went home). Unconventional, yes. Dangerous, no. No alcohol, no sex (there was flirting and joking, but my mum was around and asking everyone how they liked the formal, do you want more chips, and so on).
I stayed with the guys until about 5 AM and then toddled off to bed at the other end of the house. The boys all slept in the lounge room. It was a brilliant night and my after-party was a nice way to cap it off.
Our high school has an after party at the school from 11:30 to 5:00 a.m. Noone is allowed to leave before 2:00 am since it's too confusing to keep track of who is coming & who is going. I think if they leave before 5:30, they have to have permission from parents. Anyway, this is a very big event, w/ a theme (this year, it's Roaring 20's), food, games etc. The newspaper said that last year 400 people went. Plus you don't have to go to the prom to go to the party.
So I thought I was all set, then DD informs me that she & her friends have decided to rent a house for a few nights in Vermont, about 3 hrs. away (we live near Boston). She showed me the house on line and it's really huge, has an indoor pool. Now I went on vacation w/ my girlfriends after high school so that's not the big deal. I am worried that there will be too many kids (boys are going too) and things will get out of hand. Of course, I know there will be drinking. My DD isn't a big drinker, but I know she will probably have some. Even her dad said "I guess there's not much I can do." As she pointed out, she is paying for it. I will be glad when that trip is over. My advice has been on the lines of "it's a long way for me to drive up there if you get arrested, so don't do anything stupid." "make sure noone drinks and then goes swimming, cause they could drown" etc. I'm not worried about sex cause she doesn't have a boyfriend. I am hoping they don't break anything in this beautiful house, but they do have to pay a damage deposit. I'm wondering if the owners know a bunch of 18 yr olds are going to be staying there.
I just remember going to a motel on Cape Cod w/ my friends where one mother had made the reservation and the owner saying "who's Evelyn" Well, Evelyn was my friend's mom, but she wasn't there. And yes, we did drink but it was legal then, so we didn't drink in the rooms, we went out to clubs instead.
P.S. After talking w/ my friend, who has 18 & 20 yr old boys, it's kind of a fine line to draw. We think that our kids tell us a lot because they know we won't over-react, even if it's stuff we don't want to hear, where my DSD is more of the sneaky type and won't tell her dad anything because he'll just have a fit. My friend's 20 yr old son told her he had sex, so what could she really say at that point, except make sure you use protection?
It's not like you want to let them do anything that they want, but at some point after they are 18 and going to college, you know they are going to be making their own decisions anyway (and some are going to be bad ones). I think all you can do is point out the potential problems.