If you found this in your teens room...
Find a Conversation
If you found this in your teens room...
| Fri, 11-17-2006 - 11:34am |
If you found a girls gone wild DVD in your teens room. Would you leave it or take it. Would you talk to him/her or just ignore it (even if you took it).
DH says it's inappropriate and he would take it.
I am thinking, it's not porn so just leave it be.
Looking for other's opinions.

Pages
I would take it and have a talk about appropriate and inappropriate behavior. It's not about nudity, it's about exploitation and wanting my dds to treat themselves with respect and to have a healthy approach to thier own sexuality. And IMO, it doesn't matter if the teen in question is male or female. I could go on and on, but I won't.
Good luck.
Ummmm. It's not the XXX rated stuff you can buy at the sex shops, but it's still soft-porn. I know you can see soft-porn movies on cinemax at night. And, you can watch the adult sex show on HBO. And, adult swim on cartoon network is absolutely horrible. I forbid DDs to have cartoon network on at night because of it. I hate to hear what's they're saying at 10pm central time and realize that's on at 8pm in california. And have you been to the bottom of the love and sex boards on iVillage? Been lurking there too, but then I'm an adult.
Now, I'm not anti-porn completely. I would say there's probably a place for some of it, when it's two consenting adults, or one adult. And, I know kids are going to see all kinds of stuff all over the place. But, have you ever watched one of those tapes? I never have, but fall asleep often with the comedy channel on. I usually fall asleep with the tv on, bad habit. Imagine waking up every morning you have to go to work and hearing those girls yelling and seeing all of them flashing all the time. And, it looks like a lot of them are doing single and girl-girl sex acts, KWIM?
IMO, I think it deserves a talk. I don't think I'd really dish out a punishment, but probably take it and get some open conversation going.
HTH
Sallie
When my oldest DD was 17, I found, "Girls Gone Wild, Dorm Room Fantasies," sitting on top of the DVD player in her room. I took it, we talked it about and then I gave it back. She had been watching it with few male friends of hers. She described it as a naughty version of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Frankly I just wanted to make certain my daughter wasn't thinking degrading herself by mimicking the show.
I think that if you want your children (male or female) to develop a healthy sense of what is appropriate and what is not; how to respect thier bodies and the bodies of others; and how to have an ideal of what a loving, healthy sexual relationship according to YOURS, now is the time to let them know it.
IOW, he is 11 now, when will you set the standard? When you find a DVD of nude women in his room? I'm not being critical - just making a point. We talk to our kids about drugs, alcohol and sex from when they are little people.
Part of my discussions with my dds also covered appropriate behavior, nudity and a how sex is normal and healthy, but also special and reserved to share with a special person at a later date. The message I *hoped* to convey was about loving thier bodies but being modest as well; it was about how sharing thier sexual self is an important special event, not to be shared with just anyone. In short I wanted to make sure that they were not exploiting themselves OR others when learning about sex and their sexual selves.
I am not a prude, nor would I encourage feelings of shame or guilt about sex, but I also wouldn't encourage risque behavior or ignore it till they move past it. You're right, boys AND girls alike will explore porn to a certain extent but turning the other way or hiding our heads in the sand is not going to teach them what's normal, appropriate, abnormal or inappropriate. Nudity, in and of itself is not porn and it's harmless. It's the exploitation of that nudity that I have a problem with. My now 17dd looked at porn once when she hit a link on a website unknowingly. It had a picture of two men and a woman and the men were doing things to the woman that were just vile. I had to have a chat with dd about what they were doing, and worse, why. I think it's okay for two consenting adults to view porn, but I just don't think it has any place in the lives of young people who are still navigating thier way through thier own sexuality. I think it can often give a skewed view of what people (men and/or women) really want.
I have three boys and I would allow him to keep it
I would take the opportunity, however, to discuss with him whatever concerns its presence brought to you-boundaries, sex, birth control, alcohol, saying no when the girl says yes....its presence shows you it's time-that'a good thing-we always wonder when the time is right
So, yes, say you found it and this reminded you that you wanted to discuss....
Keep it brief!
Pages