If you found this in your teens room...
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If you found this in your teens room...
| Fri, 11-17-2006 - 11:34am |
If you found a girls gone wild DVD in your teens room. Would you leave it or take it. Would you talk to him/her or just ignore it (even if you took it).
DH says it's inappropriate and he would take it.
I am thinking, it's not porn so just leave it be.
Looking for other's opinions.

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Because I don't know what those DVDs are like, i cannot say exactly what I'd do, but I can let you know of what I found a couple of years ago when DS was 15. (A week before that he'd been at a summer soccer camp, and his teammate-roommate had taken his laptop along--to listen to music, of course!)
One day I came home and there he was,in front of the computer, looking at porn--the most disgusting, I might add. All oral--organ in mouth. No other contact. AFter checking out the sites he'd been visiting, I found online an NPR or PBS interview with a psych perhaps?, explaining how to deal with teens and porn. It was long--45 minutes--but good. Listened to the whole thing. Later DS and I had a discussion about how degrading it is. "Why do you think they never show the GUYS' faces, only the girls? How will that girl get a real job someday? Do you want to grow up to be some kind of pervert? What girl would want to go out with a guy like who's hooked on porn?" I also explained that good sex is about love and respect, when two people really CARE for each other; and that ultimately, that's what all girls want. Said that there are limits--respectfully admiring and complimenting (e.g. "I like your hair like that" or "That color looks good on you")attractive girls is okay, and even Maxim is tolerable--but what he was looking at was disgusting. Talked about sexual harassment laws. I told him I could limit the sites he can access, or get some spyware to keep an eye on him, but I'd rather he just give me his word that he'd stay away from the trashy stuff. And he did. He was also very embarrassed about the whole thing.
Fortunately, he's not on the computer much, so I never had to worry much after that. His friends once created a myspace page for him, and when I saw the vulgar stuff they put on it, I told him either he gets rid of it or he will no longer have access to the computer. Now 17, he does still IM occasionally, but that has dropped off lately, too. I still check the sites he visits, but most of his computer use now is school-related, or to get music.
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http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM
I think females should respect their bodies enough not to appear on "Girls Gone Wild" and if it was in my son's room, it would be confiscated immediately (if not sooner) with a lecture if he asked where it was! (I bet he would be too embarrassed to ask where it is!)
Its porn and to me its a very disturbing type of porn because it involves young women who are perhaps not at a point to practice good judgement and are therefore completely exploited.
Its one thing to be a porn actor and participate willingly in a film and get compensated accordingly for it. You go into the situation knowingly and are fully aware that your actions are going to be on film for a long time and you accept both the benefits and risk of that decision.
But a young woman who is on vacation, has had a few drinks and flashes her breasts for a guy with a camera is put in the very unfair position of being unaware and then further to that not even compensated. Someone else is making a ton of money off their brief moment of stupidity and they don't see a cent of that money and don't get a chance to think about it clearly while they are in a sober state of mind.
So I would talk to your teenager about the fact that these girls are somebody's sister or friend or daughter and that it could just as easily be someone he knows and that what has happened to them is totally and completely unfair and unjust and he is just supporting those people by having this product.
Its not about it being porn so much as it is about being an especially deplorable type of porn.
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