Inappropriate sexual behavior

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2007
Inappropriate sexual behavior
4
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 7:17pm

PLEASE someone help me!!!! My daughter is 12 and has just recently become depressed for no reason. I've asked her all the questions about why she feels this way and still no reason. My husband and I have taken her to a LCSW and still no reason we can find. However, my daughter finally told me today that her friend touches her inappropriatly and has for a few years. Her friend is a girl! She says it has always made her upset but her friend always cries and begs her to "make-out".

My question is....is this normal at 12? I could see if it only happened once and maybe when they were younger but 12?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 10:23pm

I dont think it matters about the age and sex of the person involved, no one has the right to touch your dd in a way that she does not want

Can she just stop being friends with this girl? If this was indeed a one or even two time attempt on the friends part, it might be different, but if it's ongoing, there's no reason for your dd to go near this girl

The counselor might have good advice now that she knows what the problem(or part of the problem)is. And dd needs to keep seeing the counselor or someone else if this one doesnt click

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2006
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 12:01am

I don't want to be an alarmist but I'd tell the parents of the other girl what's going on. Chances are that if she's doing something innapropriate that she is or has been sexually abused. Many times a child will act out on an other child what has happened to them.

Obviously councelling for your daughter would be a good idea. And I would call Social Services about the other girl too. You could help someone in need.

A very similar thing happened to a friend of mine when she was 4. Her friend kept trying to touch her between her legs. My friend's dad happened to be a child shrink and had always told her to tell him about stuff like that. She (at 4!)insisted that her dad try and help her friend. She was right. She was being abused at home.

Just a thought. Good luck.

-S

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 11:50am

This is probably far more common than you think.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2006
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 5:23pm
Child on Child sexual abuse is more common than any adult imagines. This is not normal, and it's not right. The other child shouldn't be forcing your child to do anything sexual. In this situation, your child is a victim and she needs to know that. It's not normal for the other girl to be doing this to your daughter, and this friend probably has alot issues going on herself. You need to let the friend's parents know what was going on, especially of the corcering nature of this friend, and keep your daughter away from her.