Interesting Radio Program Today

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Interesting Radio Program Today
5
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 1:47pm

As I was driving DD to her volunteer position this morning, we were listening to one of the local radio stations and its 'Thursday Therapy' show -- basically a call-in forum with a therapist/counselor from the area for free advice.

A mom called in asking how to handle the situation with her 17yo DD who has run away from home, dropped out of school and is now living with her 19yo BF, also a drop out.

I don't remember the therapists name other than it was 'Lynn', who during the course of the discussion, told the caller that in this day and age, teens are under so much pressure that when they act out like this, it's a way to try and escape from the pressures of being a teen.

This is the part I thought was most interesting:

The pressure to be sucessful academically, to be a star athlete, to be thin, to be pretty, to be well-dressed, get into a great college ... blah, blah, blah all wears on our kids and when they feel they can't handle the stress anymore they turn to drugs, alchohol, sexual activity and withdrawal -- like the DD running away. She also feels that this is the reason these kinds of things, as well as teenage suicide, is on the rise.

Therapist also said that even if these kids don't show symptoms of the stress to be successful right away, they would eventually ... at 21 or 30 or 38. Eventually, it will catch up.

What do you all think? I've felt that our kids start getting pressured to succeed the minute they step foot in a classroom on the first day of kindergarten and it just gets worse the further along the get in their education.

Then add sports, music, volunteer time and extra-curricular activities and well, it's a recipe for disaster.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 2:03pm

Julie,

Did this therapist provide any answers, or ways to cope with all this pressure?

Amelia

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 2:30pm

Unfortunately, no. This 'Thursday Therapy' is a very small part of the morning program of a popular country/western radio personality duo. This Lynn person only answered three calls and two of them very, very briefly. I am a bit pressed for time right now, but there is probably more about this therapist on the radio stations' web site, so I'll do a little poking around when I have more time.

I've been in agreement with this woman's philosophy since my 12yo DS started kindergarten and was involved enough in the school to become aware just how much are kids are pushed to succeed right from the get go.

I'll post an update or more info if I can find it.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 2:45pm

Well, you won't find me disagreeing that kids are pushed too much from the get go. I'm a big advocate of Montessori type learning (all 3 of my kids went to this type of preschool, only it was a parent participation thing) and Charter schools (which two of my kids have attended, and one still does). I can't stand the way traditional education makes all fit into one square peg, and rewards only one type of intelligence. But don't get me going on that.

However, I wonder if this particular situation (17yo girl running off with 19yo boy) should be explained by kids being pushed too hard. I guess it would depend on each individual case, but teenagers have been doing stupid things since the beginning of time and I'm not sure we can start writing off that bad behaviour to being pushed too soon, too early. Again, depends on each situation. Sounds like an interesting show. I like to listen to Dr. Laura now and again for a good laugh.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 3:40pm

My thoughts as well.

Yes, we as a society push too hard IMO but my peers as a teen were not pushed like this and still did their share of drugs, alcohol and sex

I taught Montessori for 13 years and very much miss it. Working in Early Intervention is rewarding with the truly delayed kids-chromosome deletions, extreme premies, etc. But I struggle with so many peoples need to shave those edges off the square pegs of delighfully normal kids!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 11:41am
Honestly? I don't feel that teens today have MORE pressure - although I'm sure the pressures are different. I'm thinking of the kinds of pressures that I was under at that age...here are some examples. In grade 10 I was the victim of a boy who used to bully me by pushing me up against the wall, grinding his hips against mine and forcing me to kiss him. TODAY he'd be charged with sexual assault. In 1980 I was told "he'll stop if you don't let him know it bugs you" and "he must tease you because he likes you". My best friend at the time, we know realize, suffered from Attention Deficit Disorder. They didn't know what that was or diagnose it back then, so she was the constant target of teachers and even her parents telling her to get a grip, get organized, and stop being so lazy. In addition to that, there was still the same sort of enormous pressure to get a job, get into a good college, and fit in - lots of the same stuff we see today. I think it's true for all generations of teens - go back to the pioneer days when they were often married and raising a family by 16! 70 years ago they were going off to war at that age...like that isn't pressure! I think it is a hard time of life for every generation in every culture - and in every one, some will survive, some will excell, and wome will end up in trouble because they can't cope! LOL - it reminds me of a quote from Socrates a couple thousand years ago - something to the effect of "Children today are tyrants - they have no respect for their teachers or parents" etc. Do things really change much, or does each new generation just feel like they had it harder?