julie - on skating and friends
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| Sat, 02-11-2006 - 7:01pm |
Hi Julie
I asked my DD14 about your ice skating post - after saying "why are E's parents so strict about C? That's just dumb!" (lol teenage honesty), I asked her what she thought of the friend - of how she treated your DD. She felt it was very mean (OK, she uses the B word, and I hate it, but anyway....) to *use* your DD as a cover to meet a boy. That got me thinking, that one lesson from this (in addition to 'no lying') is "how do you measure the quality of your friends?" DD and I have talked about this off and on over the last few years - not all friends are equal - some would go to the ends of the earth for you, some are lots of fun but not great influences, some are moody and hard to please.....you get the picture. This is part of the move from elementary to HS - friendships get more complex and layered.
Just my two cents......FWIW
Sue
ps. Can't wait to hear the end of the Winter Formal drama - I'm sure your DD had a great time - don't forget to post pics!

Sue,
Thanks for your thoughts; mine are still a bit jumbled! From what I hear from DD, it seems that E's parents are not just strict about C, but about E's comings and goings in general. While I think E's preoccupation with boys probably are a concern for her parents, I don't think their strictness (is that a word?) is just about boys.
I guess I'd have to say now (after the fact) that E didn't seem to use DD to get out to be with C so much as she used the OPPORTUNITY of being out of the house to spend some time with him and DD too. She wanted DD to meet him and didn't ditch DD once C showed up at the ice skating rink. DD said C is very nice, lots of fun, they all skated together and she enjoyed herself with both of them. There ARE dark corners in the building where E and C could have hidden for a good make-out session, but if that happened, DD didn't say anything about it -- not that she would -- lol. Both girls were in very good spirits, laughing and giggling when I picked them up, and I guess C's dad picked him up.
DD has said about the whole situation, "it wasn't a date, just a bunch of friends going skating together; C just happened to be one of the friends." I don't see anything at all wrong with that, but it does bother me a bit that she was willing to help E with something they both knew E's mom probably wouldn't have allowed just because THEY thought it wasn't a big deal. E wasn't at all secretive with me about C being there, her mom didn't call and confirm any details or ask any questions, so now I am wondering a bit of teen-age dramatics are coming into play with the whole situation.
I appreciate your thoughts. Hopefully I won't have to think much about E's love life in the future!
Julie