A jumble of thoughts today......
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| Mon, 02-06-2006 - 8:31am |
Good morning all. I posted last week about my 'discovery' of a condom and lighter in my 15 yr old DS room.......by snooping. I still haven't dealt with tha--I'm unsure how at this point. BUT.......a funny thing happened..
As some of you may remember, my DS is a name brand happy kid that is pretty vain and by all accounts (I know, my opinion doesn't count in this one...) he's pretty handsome. Or 'hot' as the girls say........so his looks are quite important to him. He wears his hair in that long shaggy style--doesn't want his eyebrows to show (I now know why, but I'll get to that later), etc.......it curls on the ends and he works quite hard to get that curl 'just right' cute enough for the girls, not so cute to be 'un-manly' (not that curls are unmanly, but you get the picture).
Anyway, he went to a friends house Sat. night. I checked his room and the condom was still safe in it's hiding place (whew) and of course I took the 'found' lighter last week, since he has no business having one at all EVER......and at 10:00 my cell phone rings. It's Tanner. He says "Mom, I did something really bad". Of course my heart dropped........he said " you have to PROMISE not to get mad" and I replied that I didn't know, what was it that he wanted to tell me? Again he said "you have to PROMISE you won't get mad', well that is to much of a BLIND decision, so again, I repeated that I couldn't promise that and he just needed to TELL me what was going on (as my heart is POUNDING, and I'm imagining some drunken prank gone wrong--not that he's ever consumed alcohol before, to my knowledge, but still.....) and he goes on to say "Well, you know how I've been talking about getting my hair cut shorter?" and my heart returned to it's normal place and slowed down, I said, YES......."well the guys gave me a haircut tonight...........and I just wanted you to know so you wouldn't be mad when you saw me."
I could have GIGGLED with joy! I told him, well, son, it's YOUR hair, and you are the one to live with the consequences of a bad haircut......so of course I'm not mad........and I must say, although it is a REALLY, REALLY bad haircut, in terms of butchering, the style doesn't look all that bad....except one guy got hold of a portion of his bangs and chopped part of them off pretty close to the head.........but overall, it could have been MUCH, MUCH worse..........
So, when we assume our kids are going down the road of poor choices, and we worry ourselves sick, we find out that they are still kids at heart, and although MY choice wouldn't let 6 kids (boys and girls, I found out) work on his hair, it was harmless and didn't hurt a soul---except him if he's unhappy..........
So, my kid DIDN'T go on some drunken binge, he called his worried old mom to 'warn' her of pending 'doom'...haha....and ended up getting that hair out of his eyes!
Oh, he now wants to 'pluck' his eyebrows. I've advised against it..........it HURTS----I've advised him to go to a salon that specializes in 'trends' and get them waxed. That hurts too, but the hurt is only ONCE per brow and the results last way longer........he's afraid they'll make him look like a girl............he just doesn't understand how stylists work....oh well.
Just a lighthearted look at what kids find to do to occupy themselves..........
Shels

Thanks for sharing that. I really, really needed that. As you described his hair (pre-cut) I saw one of the DD's friends. He has that long hair with curls on the ends. Well, he came into the super bowl party last night and his g/f had straightened his hair. He looked like a shaggy sheep-dog - but at least it wasn't permanent.
I also have a nagging feeling about what exactly did my DD do Fri night. Just one of those mom feelings that I get. I asked her and she really evaded the question. I had been bitten on my face by a dog shortly before I asked so I let it go. I just wasn't up to the argument at that moment. I'm trying real hard to consider your post and imagine DD doing something stupid but not STUPID.
Thanks!!
Oh, Tobylady, I hope you are ok............was it your own dog that bit your or another? Dog bites can be scary----I can understand why you weren't up to arguing with your DD----I also hope you are doing well.............keep us posted.......
My DS is almost ALWAYS evasive with us. He's been telling us lately that we ask too many questions, and he gets 'annoyed' when we keep asking the same thing over and over.......or if we ask questions about his friends (like who is such and such seeing?, etc...). He says it is none of our business.........and we've informed him that it most certainly IS our business who he hangs out with and who his and their friends are, since most likely he'll be exposed to his friends' friends.............
Your DD usually will come to you ,even after she's been 'avoiding' you doesn't she? I'm sure you'll get the 'real' story soon..........for now, take care of yourself, and it IS comforting when you think the WORST about your kids, that they actually do things that aren't nearly as horrifying as you imagine.
Shels
The dog was not mine but I know the owner's pretty well. I was at their house with the kids from church at a super bowl party and her DH let the Dachsund's out even though he knows the older one bites. The dog brought me his toy and I bent down to pick up the toy and the dog snapped. My friend picked him up and then she reached for the toy. Since she had an arm full of dog, I bent over to pick up the toy at the same time she did and the dog got me on the cheek. Her DH is a doctor so he looked over it pretty good and DD wanted to put her first-aid and recent ER internship to use so she cleaned it and bandaged it up for me. I think the DH is afraid that I'm going to sue them - he offered to call a plastic surgeon friend of his to look at it since it's right on the front of my face. It's not deep and I'm by no means vain. It may leave a scar but I'm not real worried about it - the band-aid hurts worse than the bite this morning. I'm very thankful it wasn't one of the kids.
I haven't seen my DH yet to tell him about it. He's going to be furious b/c this couple's son dislocated our DD's shoulder a few years back, then he broke her toe, then he threw her into the ocean and she got stung by a jellyfish - he had a major crush on her. My DH and her DH had several long talks about the boy's impulsivity when it came to our DD. DH is not real fond of these people. I dread that conversation.
Friday night I'm pretty sure DD went to a party that she had mentioned earlier in the week. She hadn't asked to go but I had told her I would have to think about it since I had never heard of this boy before I didn't think it was a good idea. So I think she just didn't ask again and went anyway. I talked to her for a pretty good while when she got home that night and she hadn't been drinking, didn't miss curfew, etc. so I probably wouldn't ground her for going without permission (she's almost 18 so I've got to let her make some decisions for herself). This one I doubt she will tell me on her own. I will probably ask her more directly tonight and see what response I get. If she went, I may insist that she go to visit her cousins with me. She needs to spend some good quality family time anyway. I know that may sound like a strange "punishment" but I have been stressing to her that family values are important. I will simply explain to her that since she is supposed to always tell me where she is and she didn't I need to spend some time with her to rebuild my trust in her. My extended family (aunts & cousins) lives out of town so it takes a full day to visit them. We would have some good car time this way and can work on building those family relationships we've missed the past few years.
Oh and I can remember once that I pierced a friends ears using an ice cube and a safety pin. We were very careful to clean and sterilize everything. Her mom had told her she could do it if she could find a way to pay for it. I was free. OMG, I couldn't stomach that now. I guess that was one of the worse things I ever did.
Your son and mine (16) sound an awful lot a like. First, there is the brand name clothing thing, and now the hair. I recall my son being concerned about his hair when he was 3rd grade, I kid you not! I have no idea where he gets this from, because my dh is perhaps the least vain man on the planet.
Recently, two of his girl friends cut AND dyed his hair. I knew about it before it happened, heck I even drove him there so he could get it done. My sister had alot of warnings about him beforehand about friends doing each others hair and a bad experience she had with it. But I shouldn't have worried about ds - he knew he could trust this girl because he'd already seen her handiwork on others. The haircut was great, and free! He loves it - although, and I'm almost embarrassed for him as I write this, because his hair is wavy and thick like mine, he has joined dd and me in straightening his hair every morning! All this, and he's not "feminine" in the least, believe or not, this is what guys are doing these days. Hadn't heard of the eyebrow thing, though. That's a new one.
It's nice to be able to laugh sometimes along this journey...
jt