Just need to rant!!
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Just need to rant!!
| Thu, 06-21-2007 - 2:16am |
dd is driving me out of my mind....im sick and ive been sick for along time and they dont know what it is and so its hard to deal with....so it doesnt help with her acting like the biggest brat in the universe.....im lossing it....im praying so hard.....but im still going crazy....i hardly see her and so it doesnt help my empty nest syndrome...ive been going through one of my exaserbations with my illness so ive not been able to do much.....when i do hear from her shes mean, rude, and demanding......the other day...i was sick and she called and my cuz told her i was lying down b/c i was sick and she made the smartass comment "dont she ever go to work"...my bf told her "do you?" (she hasnt got a job yet) which i thought was ok until summer was over as long as she managed her money wisely then i let her use my car and bf is trying to get me one so she can use it and ill have one but i need it to go on a trip to see family and she wasnt going to go but now she wants to but doesnt want to go with me b/c she has other friends and things she wants to do down there and she gets mad b/c i wont let her go and me not go...i said well u figure something out b/c im taking my car and u can either go with me or find a car to borrow everything she says is rude and ungrateful....my entire life i have given and given and loved and loved and i didnt have to b/c i choose her as my child after our mother died...it was my choice to care for her b/c i loved her and even before that at 16 i was working to feed her to help momma b/c she had a crappy hubby who wouldnt give her enough money, i kept her safe from harm when i was 12 b/c mothers previous hubby was abusive( please dont think badly of my mother she was wonderful and amazingly stron...we all make bad choices).....i did all those things b/c i loved that child as if she was mine.....i didnt give birth to her....so what i did choose to take custody of her and raise her and worked non stop to make sure she had what she needed......i just do not understand how i raised such an evil brat.....all i ever did was love her and make sure she had the best childhood i could give her...i just wanna yell at her and say.....leave me alone if u cant be nice to me.....i miss my little girl....the one who used to stay by my side always and wouldnt go on trips with girlscouts unless i was right there and laid her head in my lap while i petted her hair while she was waiting for her turn to play on the basketball team.....what happened....how did my sweet little baby turn into this mean hateful person....im so heart broken....thanks for listening to me rant.....
excuse my spelling its late and i should be asleep but im having trouble sleeping
excuse my spelling its late and i should be asleep but im having trouble sleeping

I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now.
I hope you get to feeling better. And, enjoy your trip! Sounds like some time for tough love. When you get back, don't give her the car to use. Leave it sit if you don't need to drive it. Let her ride with friends, or let her pay someone to drive her somewhere. Stop being an easy target. She is immature. She needs to learn to grow up. Give her a few years, having to scrimp and scrape for everything. Let her experience life in it's fullest. Continue to care, lend her an ear. Say yes, and oh my that's hard, all that supportive jargen that will let her know that you've actually heard her. Let her vent away. Just don't do anything for her. If she gets in trouble, don't bail her out. Let her grow up. You've done an amazing job getting her to adulthood. It is now time for you to have your own life, something you were not allowed to do because of circumstances.
IT IS OK TO LET GO!!!!!
Time for you to begin your own healing, emotionally and physically.
Best wishes!!
Sallie
I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time. Some of what you're describing is extreme, but alot of it is normal teen-mom stuff.
I realized last night that my DD (almost 16) scheduled her whole weekend to be with friends, and almost no family time. And when I said "maybe we can all do something together on Sunday" she said "fine." but not alot of enthusiasm. So, I miss my little girl too - the one who wouldn't stay overnight anywhere, because she liked our house best; the one who held my hand anywhere we walked. But, I also love my big girl - the one who has the self-confidence to go into any situation; the one who has managed to make friends across several different social cliques in school.
The moodiness and snippiness, and wanting everything to go her way - I think some of that is normal teen stuff. Maybe if you and your DD can talk about it, about how you each are feeling, some of the nastiness will go away. But also, try not to take the bait - if she's snippy, just walk away - don't get into a discussion of "well I did this, I did that" - it won't work and you'll both feel worse.
Oh, just one more story about moodiness. The other night, my DD and I were having a nice walk home. Then - out of nowhere - she was almost in tear and FURIOUS at me, because I couldn't get the cover back on the ice cream we were carrying (she had opened it for one taste). Talk about out of proportion! It's ice cream - OK, it was melting a little - but still - it's just ice cream! The she realized she's almost crying over ... ice cream ... and was embarrassed and mad at me. Within 10 minutes it was over, as if it never happened. Raising teens is a roller-coaster!!
Sue