Keep mouth shut or step in?
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| Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:53pm |
I've stated many times that dd is by no means considered academic. She just squeaks by and normally it goes like this: She starts out gung-ho in a class, is burnt out in 2 weeks, failing or close to failing at midterm, and somehow pulls it out right before the end of the grading period. She has pretty much set herself up for failure next year and if I say anything I will be making her feel "dumb" (which she's not, she just does not put forth the effort) and if I don't say anything, she's going to more than likely fail badly.
She barely squeaked by Algebra I - she is scheduled for Honors Geometry and Algebra II. At last check she was doing horribly in Regular English 9 (she had to drop Honors 9 when she had the mono) - if she's passing at the moment, it's barely - she is scheduled for Honors English 10. She is kicking butt in Earth Science, but only because she loves the teacher. She is scheduled for AP Astronomy. Dd is the type of kid, if she likes the teacher, she will kick butt to make them proud, if she doesn't it's like she "will show them" and won't do a damn thing. Her boyfriend told me flat out, she and the Astronomy teacher WILL clash. She is scheduled for Journalism II - same anti-war teacher - she'd be taking the class at approximately the time her dad is due to leave for Iraq.
I can't believe the school LET her have a schedule like this!! Do I step in and bring her back to the real world or do I step back and let her push herself and possible let herself down? I would LOVE for her to be able to pull it off - it would do so much to her academic self-esteem, but what's it going to do if it's F's across the board?


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Could you email the teachers and ask that she be given no special privileges? Not to say that she should get less than others, but that they stick by the rules of no EC, no credit if late, etc. That has definitely shown ds that he needs to crack down; in MS they always gave EC or credit on late assignments, or at least bent to do this, but in HS it definitely was not the case this year, and with the mono, it was killer! He now is below a 3 GPA, which bothers him to no end - and he's definitely determined, moving forward for next year.
Sue
Aside from what in the yell was that school thinking by allowing her to sign up for that (which is absolutely beyond me!), I'm afraid you may just have to let the chips fall where they may. Lousy prospect, huh?
The only other thing I can think of, is (since she thinks you are critizing her anyway) is to take a little bit more direct approach. Start out telling her that you are proud that she wants to tackle this exceedingly heavy load, one that many, many kids would not even *try* to tackle, much less do well with. In order to help her succeed, you think there should be some rules set in place beforehand. Beginning with the first full grading period, if she is failing (or making a low grade--whatever *you* want the "cut-off" to be) then on top of the school disallowing cheering, you will disallow any outside activites (including bf) until she brings the grade up. If she fails any class after that, then she will have to turn in her cell phone to you when she arrives home from school so she can devote more time to her studies. If she is willing to accept these new rules, then you are willing to go along with her schedule. If she thinks these things may be too harsh, then maybe she needs to re-think her schedule. And if she wants to change her schedule up, then you will support that whole-heartedly too.
This way the ball is solely in her court. She knows up front what might happen if she doesnt' pull this off AND could give her a face-saving way to back down. You truly arent' saying she *can't* do it, only what will happen if she doesn't do it. Of course, with a 15yo, NOTHING you say is going to be right! LOL
Of course, I say all this, yet because I know my own kid, this would *never* fly in my house. I have to just say "you are NUTS" and then let it go. Mine has to sink or swim in his own little pool in his own little way.
Her grades sound just fine! I know how annoying those progress reports can be(DS2 was famous for this)but as long as she is pulling it out in the end.....
I'd let her be and stop looking at the progress reports
Good luck!
To admit that math is not your thing is not to admit to being stupid. Tell her smart people realise their limitations.
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