lament / update

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
lament / update
17
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 4:49pm

Well..it's been a couple of weeks now of the "iceberg."
DD and weenie boy are confirmed history.
WB broke it off with her after spending $200 on a necklace two weeks prior.
The abruptness of the breakup appears clear to me that fresh screwable material has suddenly appeared on the scene. WB's investment didn't pan out. lol...

So now poor daddio is stuck with a moody, crabby 15 yr old DD who rarely speaks to me anymore. Of course, I'm steering clear of bringing up anything to do with him. (I just vent my crass and vulgar WB comments on this board only) But any attempt at conversation with her is met with annoyance.
This makes me very sad.
Maybe I'll get her back in 3 to 5 years?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
In reply to: daddioe
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 11:34am

Addioe,
Giving space and failing to act are very different things. In no way do I think that your allowing her to grieve in the way that seems best for her right now is the same as putting your head in the sand and pretending it isn't happening. And you can bet SHE knows the difference,too.

This is a Mars and Venus thing, Daddioe. You are only "failing to act" when the situation is actionable. As much as you want to fix this for her, you simply cannot. Please don't take offense to this - in your posts you sound an awaful lot like my own dh - which is a good thing - but there is a tendancy to offer solutions when that isn'r really what is needed.

As to what I wanted my dad to do when I was a teen..... hmmm... At the time I THOUGHT I wanted him to take a very long vacation with my mom and leave me the heck alone. Now I know that he did exactly the right thing: He was there. Family was more important than anything. He trusted me, but kept the leash fairly short. He never had to prove this - but I know he would have fought lions, tigers and bears to protect me. He wasn't much into the heart to heart converstaions: he was a depression-era kid who made himself a success through hard work and probably a tiny bit of graft.

I really like Toblady's suggestion of a letter. I would suggest avoiding the submect of wb's character - just keep it short and let her know you love her no matter what.

You're a great dad.

jt

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
In reply to: daddioe
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 11:53am
No offense taken.
I like your Mars / Venus thing. I guess some things just need to be.
And I agree.. an e-mail or letter sounds like a good idea.
Mom's in the hospital and I feel dragged ragged right now. Not a good time to be dealing with this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
In reply to: daddioe
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 12:30pm

daddio! Is the 'mom' in the hospital 'mom' as in your DM or 'mom' as in your DW? Is everthing okay? In any event, I do hope it's nothing terribly serious and that you'll keep us posted. I'm sorry you're feeling stretched and stressed.

Is it appropriate to send you hugs? If so, {{hugs}} to you. If not, well then, disregard that last thing. :)

jules

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
In reply to: daddioe
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 7:01pm

I was wondering the same thing. Hope everything is ok. If it is your dw in the hospital, that sure might contribute to dd's moods. My dd doesn't even like it when I have night meetings!

Whichever of the "moms"it is hospitalized, I am sorry. You must be stressed to the max!
jt

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
In reply to: daddioe
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 9:12pm
Jules and jt.
Sorry.. I wasn't clear.
It is actually my mother. She's 74 and quite healthy until she got whacked with pneumonia.
Been in the hospital 9 days now with slow reaction to antibiotics.
This is going to be a slow recovery. The good news is she's crabby, feisty and bored.
Thank you for your kind thoughts.
And yes, I'll take all the hugs I can get... :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
In reply to: daddioe
Sat, 03-18-2006 - 9:31am
Sorry to hear about your mom, daddioe.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2005
In reply to: daddioe
Sat, 03-18-2006 - 11:02am

(((HUGS))) for you, your mom, and your family!

Sue

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