Length of punishments

Avatar for kel7col4
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Length of punishments
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Tue, 01-01-2008 - 10:55pm

fghjkl




Edited 2/19/2008 5:36 pm ET by kel7col4



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 11:01am

I would tell her that what she said was extremely hurtful to me and therefore made me over react. And then I would give her all but one or two privileges back

JMHO

You got hurt(sounds like she pulled out your soul and stomped on it)and you lashed out in anger, taking away every privilege she has.

I've done that and it is never productive and only brings on lots of guilt -which can then make you overcompensate by letting them get away with stuff later on to 'even it up' in your mind

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 11:20am

K, the type of behavior you describe is how my 18dd ended up living with her father in another state. She went on and on about how much she hated living here, hated me, hated her sister, hated her stepdad (who has been more of a father to her than her bio-dad, incidentally) and called me a horrible horrible name. I actually slapped her - it just happened and it stunned us both. She was leaving the house when it happened and so, she left. I called her friend and told him that if she is determined to leave and stay away, at least come home and get her meds. She came back much later that night, packed a bag with a girl friend in tow. Before she left I asked her if she'd like to go live with her dad for a while and she said yes - I think she was shocked because in the past when she asked to go live with him I always said no. Now was the time. So, 4 days later she was delivered to her father. She stayed with him for 5 weeks. She and I did some on line talking, but not much on the phone. I wrote her a heart felt letter, she didn't respond. She tried to manipulate her way home just so she could go to a planned party for her birthday at which we knew there would be a lot of drinking and drugging. We held to our NO and she wasn't able to come home. We allowed her home for my mom's birthday party and all day she whined to go out. I said no. She was pissed and let me know it. I held my tongue and ignored her. Meanwhile, through all of this, my mother's health was failing and I was walking on eggshells, my very last nerve shot, on the verge of tears at all times, plus working full time. DD was horrible to me, I was glad to have her gone. At the 5 week mark, she

Avatar for kel7col4
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 1:35pm

dfghj




Edited 2/19/2008 5:39 pm ET by kel7col4



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