Let dd &pals sleep in hotel-separate rm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
Let dd &pals sleep in hotel-separate rm?
10
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 1:36am
My dd is turning 15.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2002
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 6:44am

Wow...my personal view is that dinner and a show is a great gift..even without a friend or several..she's 15, she'll use any means to twist your arm...if you're uncomfortable, follow your instincts. Remember, you will be responsible for whatever happens in that room or outside of it. Is there an alternative that might entice her, something else she may want instead of that particular privilege? Have you called other hotels to see if they have more suitable rooms?


I take my kids on vaca every summer (not to the city) and they always get their own room (they each get to bring a friend), but it's adjoining and the door stays ajar. Great for them and great for me, I can sleep!


Good luck with your decision and the

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 6:49am

My dd wanted the same thing for her sweet sixteen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 6:52am

Personally, I think a play, dinner and hotel is over the top for a 15 y/o's bday party.

Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 7:35am

There is no way that I would allow them to stay in the hotel under the circumstances. If my dd was one of the ones invited she would not be staying if this were the situation. I think going to the city for a show and dinner is more than enough for her 15th b-day.


Just tell her that is the deal and if she doesn't like it she doesn't need to have a party at all.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 9:20am

If you have doubts, which it seems you do (considering what happened last time), then you already know the answer - NO.


Personally, between the cost, the lack of full supervision, the gutsy girl, and their ages, I would not do this.


A show and dinner, IMO, is more than what is normally expected for a birthday and your dd should be thankful. Instead, she's coming off a bit spoiled and rotten. Have a chat with her. Perhaps picking up a cheap tv from Walmart for the townhouse is the way to go...at least then you'll have it for future gatherings and at least then you'll know they are safe and it won't cost nearly as much as the hotel. And you will be there to be sure there are no shenanigans going on!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 12:09pm

Thanks for your reply--you hit the nail on the head.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 1:48pm

Diamond said:


"Don't agonize over not always agreeing with your kids or approving of what they want to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 3:58pm

I have watched that Sweet16 show and I just wonder what their parents are going to do to top that for their weddings.

Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 4:20pm

I understand where you are coming from as far as the disability, but they need to learn that they can't have it all and you need to learn that you don't need to provide it all and you don't need to feel guilty about the disability.


I, too, am handicaped to a degree. There are times that I don't even want to get out of bed because I hurt so bad. My kids know this and they deal with it. For the last several years I have had fibromyalgia and the symptoms and pain come and go. There hasn't been a time in the last, oh say, 7 yrs that I havn't had some kind of pain. Right now I am having a particularily difficult time with the fibro as well as a hip problem. I can't walk more than a few hundred feet without having a lot of pain and weakness in my leg due to my hip problem. There are a lot of things I would love to do with my kids, but I just can't do it. I feel bad that I can't do it, but I don't let it guilt me into giving them extras to make up. They know I can't do some things and they just have to suck it up and live with it. I know that may sound tough and it is, but there isn't anything I can do about the way I am. This is here to stay, whether I like it or not. You need to realize the same thing and so do your girls. Sometimes I would love to go to the mall with Kelsie and shop, but right now I can't, so we do make some compromise. I can deal with walking around Target as long as i have a cart to lean on, so we do that. I love to shop at the crafts stores, so sometimes we go there together. We do scrapbooking together, I go to watch Jaryd bowl when he has his league bowling and now he is starting with bowling for the school team and I will go to some of the practices and all the matches. I do the things I can do, sometimes they will have friends over for the night and they will rent a movie. They love it and it isn't something that I have to invest a lot of money into or even have to see if I can do it at all.


So what I am trying to say is try to do things that you can do together and will still be fun for them. I think having a few girls over for the night would be more than enough for her birthday. You could order pizza or you could even get those Boboli pizza crusts and they could make their own. That can be a lot of fun. If you can put a tv in the "family room" with a DVD player they could see a movie or two. Otherwise pull out some of the games if you have them Scattagories, Trivial Pursuit, what ever you might have.


Just don't feel guilty because of your physical condition. They need to know that sometimes it just isn't gonna happen and that is that.


I know it is hard not to feel guilty that you can't do what some of the other parents do, but there will always be someone who will do more than you can. Whether it is a physical or a financial thing someone will always be able to do more. Do what you can do and work around the handicap.


I hope this doesn't sound harsh or like I am "yelling" at you, I don't mean it to be that way. I just hate to see someone feel guilty for something they can control. Good luck with the birthday whatever you plan.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 6:00pm
You make some very good points Kristie.