Let's brag on our teens!

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Registered: 02-14-2000
Let's brag on our teens!
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Thu, 04-06-2006 - 8:46am

I know raising teens can often be filled with stress and frustrations and there are times when it's almost hard to see the good things about them.

Pam

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Avatar for jupiterfit
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Registered: 05-12-2003
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 9:14am
Despite the trouble our DD is experiencing with her BF's (yes there are two, one new BF and one ex-BF that she goes back to.... sheesh), she is really enjoying girl's soccer season at her school. She plays starting half-back and seems so much more confident than she has in a long time. She is doing things with girlfriends again too. DS (15) has been very conscientous of his grades this year and made high honors last semester which was far better than last year. He struggles at times with motivating himself... scores at genius level on iq tests yet often can't motivate himself to study and get the grades he deserves. This year he decided on his own that he would get good grades. The last couple of weeks, things started to slide. I mentioned it and he got right back on it. DD (12) is the opposite of her older sis. She is outgoing, confident and assertive. Very talented musician and dancer. She also has had the advantage of watching older sibs make their mistakes and she learns along with them.
Deb
Debbie
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Registered: 01-20-2005
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 9:38am

DD is the sole senior on the softball team this year. In general, DD thinks that freshman are immature and they annoy her with their teen drama stuff. She has 'adopted' the freshman that will take her spot on first base next year. K was also on DD's volleyball team in the fall so they became friends then. DD has helped K learned to avoid teen drama. DD is teaching K how to be a quiet, calming force on the team. DD has taken on the responsibility of making sure K has transportation to and from practice and games. When DD was a freshman, she had a senior mentor and it was such a relief to me to know that someone was looking out for her. Due to weather, games are often rescheduled at the last minute and it was a constant worry that I couldn't get off work to get her. It was nice knowing that she wouldn't abandoned.

Last week, there was a fire in the chem lab at school. School was dismissed at 8:15. K's mom is a teacher in another school and her dad works out of town. DD hunted down K after they dismissed and brought her home with her for the day. I was very proud that DD thought to do this. DD could just as easily have let her ride the bus home and DD could have come home and gone back to bed but she knows that K hates riding the bus and K's house is even more isolated than ours and she would be bored.

DD is showing alot of maturity in this friendship. K's grandmother attends our church and she has told DD that she is so thankful that DD is looking out for her. K's parents are comfortable that K is safe and out of trouble when she is with DD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 9:40am

Wonderful idea, Pam. When I examine my "problems" I truly understand how much there is to be grateful with my dd.

After a very rocky start to her freshman year - self exteem issues being at the root of things, dd is finally starting to "get" that she is a smart and capable student. Her grades have improved dramatically (honor roll this time), she's been asked to join the academic challenge team and her teachers comment regularly on her great attitude.

She is working ber hard on her self-image ... it isn't an easy road but I'm right there with her. She is adopted and has always had a great deal of curiosity when it comes to her history. Dh and I have been very open with her all along. She is now the age (14) that her birthmom was when she was conceived and I have a feeling there are quite a few inner struggles that she's dealing with that are not helping in the self-esteem department. She has started on a a campaign to adopt a child or a teen in need ... she's even said she feels she's being called by God to do so (He hasn't called ME, however!). I watch her and I marvel - knowing that some of these struggles are going to be what shapes her into the wonderful young adult that I seee emerging.

Like Pam's son, she has had her share of social struggles, but I see that changing by the day. She's very outgoing and often goes too far ... there has been much improvement int his area recently. Our exchange student is a dream child and she and dd have formed a very special bond in the short time she's been with us.

Another nice little self-esteem boost came early this week: she auditioned three weeks ago for the Chamber choir at school and she was convinced she'd blown the audition. She moped about it for days and then, of course, it took forever for the teacher to post the roster. She not only made it, she will be the only sophmore in the choir. Maybe, just maybe, she will begin to understand that she might have a tiny bit of musical talent...

Thanks, Pam! It felt so good to get this written down. I look forward to hearing about the triumphs of the other teens!

jt

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2005
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 9:55am

My DD14 is having a great year - she's in the middle of a six-year combined Jr/Sr High School program for gifted kids, and is loving it. At the beginning of the year, she said "if I'm going to get good grades, it's up to me!" and she's been really working at it.

She plays electric bass in Jr. Jazz Band, and had to try out for Senior Jazz Band. She found out this week that she got in! This is something that has been totally self-motivated and (so far) self taught.

And, I'm very proud of how she's growing in her ability to understand and manage the social drama and relationships of HS. She and one gf joke that they are the only "stable" ones in their group of friends, and they seem to have the least drama of anyone.

Finally, I am always proud that I have a teenager who I *like*, who other adults enjoy talking to, and who (mostly) likes me and likes hanging with me.

Thanks for the chance to brag, Pam!

Sue

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 10:07am

Okay, here goes.

18dd: I recently had to explain to 18dd that she has to prioritize her needs and wants as we're getting ready for the expense of her college education this sumemr - it should be an opportunity for her to SAVE money. Therefore, she and BF are cancelling thier poorly planned, tentative trip to Spain this Summer (to visit his sister) and instead will plan a camp trip to VA, which will be a HUGE savings. It will also leave her with more days available to work and save money for school! She's decided that she wants to stay in the state pageant and will be more diligent in finding sponsors to cut her costs as well. I am very proud of her maturity. She did give me a cold shoulder for a day but she needed time to think it through. Also, she's been seeking out scholarships almost daily! And she's limiting her time spent with BF to 3 days a week! And she opened up her own savings aside from the one we have set up for college only.

16dd: is passing all her classes, is not napping as much, has been consistently nice, is excited about upcoming prom, takes her meds willingly, and is still seeing her nice BF (although he's been bugging her lately because he calls her constantly-lol). She has been showing positive signs in regards to attending some college after HS - BIG DEAL for her!

Avatar for kel7col4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 10:50am

Well, dd(almost 14) has been doing an awesome job of staying out of the drama at school, that is huge for her, as she has been the appointed therapist that everyone turns to. She learned that, while she was expected to be there for everyone else, when she needed someone she was all alone. I'm very proud of how she handled herself with this school year. She moved from a tiny school in Germany, to a huge school here in Maine where everyone knew each other all their lives, this happened the last month of the school year last year. That last month was pure heck for her - she was definitely an outsider. This year she has fit right in perfectly. She has also done awesome the last few weeks at using her agenda. Report cards come out Friday, so I don't know what she has in all her classes, but in Science, which she had an F in 2 weeks ago, is now a C; and in Math, which was a C 2 weeks ago, is now a B+. She is also now tutoring some kids with Math during class, and in Language Arts she is getting extra-credit for helping one of her friends learn to read. Huge accomplishment as dd is dyslexic and reading was a huge struggle for her when she was younger, she has made huge strides in this area! Her Language Arts teacher also asked her to write for a regional writing contest. And this may be menial, but I also have to give her kudos for getting herself up in the morning. Dd has to be at the bus stop by 6:30am, when dh was here, he would get her up in the morning. When he left in Jan (military) I told dd she was on her own. Four months later, and she has yet to miss the bus. Oh, and she just started her French class yesterday - she was certain she was going to fail this class. She has a tendency not to do well with the "mean" teachers and she had heard how mean this teacher was. Dd came home from school yesterday, loving French class. I guess the teacher loves her and the 2 of them discussed their trips to Paris and the Louvre museum almost the entire class.

DS10, although not a teen - I will brag on him as well, if I may. He is the extreme opposite of his sister. I had his conference, and for the entire year he has a 99 average in spelling. The only word he missed was my fault LOL "seize" - I told him he wrote it down wrong *blush* and didn't check. Oops. Anyway, he's my very organized, brainy child, but extremely shy. I saw one of the news shows do something on "selective mutism" and I swear he has it. He is also extremely gifted with math and his teacher asked him to attend the math meet this weekend. He brought home a practice packet and we were working on it and boy does he amaze me how he work so much out in his mind. He also has his first "girlfriend" although I guess he doesn't talk to her. The girl called him and asked him "out" and he really likes her, but he has no clue how to talk to her.

Both my kids have been awesome with dh being gone and have handled the concept of moving back overseas pretty well. Dd still has her moments, but it's better than it has been in the past.




iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2005
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 12:03pm

What a fantastic idea! Sometimes I get so bogged down in all the "drama" that comes with raising a teen I forget to do this...Thank you!

DSS is on the freshman track team and he has medaled in every event at every meet this season. Then last week the high school coach asked him if he would be interested in running with the high school team on days when he does not have a jr. high meet. He agreed and has since found out that his mile time is better than any of the high school boys and they get first all around at every meeet.

Academically, I have to attend his advisement meeting tomorrow, but I already have his packet and on it the advisor marked "Valedictorian Candidate"! HOORAY! WAHOO! YAHOO! YIPPEE!

Michelle

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 1:13pm

Excellent idea, Pam. Sometimes, I need to be reminded of these things.

Ds19 is planning to give college another try next fall. I honestly thought he would probably not go back, at least not for a while. I am aware that it is a long 5 mos before fall and anything can happen between now and then, but just the fact that he is considering it is pretty amazing. He has become more of a friend to his little brother lately, looking out for him, taking him places with him, and seems to actively mentor him more. He's growing up.

Ds14 continually amazes me this year. Although we've had some rough patches, he always takes the consequences in stride. He decided at the 1st of the school year, he wanted to go w/o his ADD meds. I told him we could try it, but if his grades slipped, he would have to go back on. (And believe me, he couldn't afford for his grades to drop any further!). He has maintained a B-C average all year. Last year he pretty much made all C's with an occasional D in there. He participates in all sports offered at school and does very well at them. He is generous and kind-hearted...I love watching him interact with little kids and old people. And his sense of humor is incredible. He just sees everything in a different way than everybody else. Sometimes, I wish I could see the world thru his eyes.

I appear to be bragging more on ds14, but that's just because he has come so far this year, but I am so proud of both my boys, sometimes I think I could just bust!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2005
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 1:30pm

Great idea, Pam! We all have lots to be thankful for...

My 13DD is a graduating 8th grader and made the JV cheer squad for next year!

She has turned in every assignment so far this quarter (a HUGE improvement) and they've all been some form of an A!!

She is starting to see her friend, H, with clear eyes and mature thoughts. I've not liked H from the beginning and have limited their contact. DD now sees that H is talking about my DD behind her back, saying mean things to her face, and sharing things that DD asked her to keep private. She also didn't complete a portion of a team homework assignment after she said she would so DD is having to do extra work to pull in the points. Most importantly, she's voluntarily been talking to me about it and asking for my input!

She engineered a practical joke on her science teacher last night--with the approval of the principal, the help of the custodian and several other teachers and a few students they moved every stick of furniture out the science lab, hid all the science books, and created a scavenger hunt for his lesson plans then "decorated" the empty room for his bday! Lots of harmless fun! They were at school at 7am to see his face when he arrived and to help restore order/return furniture. I can't wait to hear about his reaction.

YEAH for weeks when we can brag!
Dani

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2005
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 1:35pm
Despite all the problems with daughters boyfriend she is still a great girl. She was chosen as one of the top 5 basketball players in our region. She was selected to play in an all star basketball game. She is carrying a 3.8 gpa. She plays the piano for church every Sunday night. She was named captain of the all state basketball and volleyball teams two years in a row. She received a superior rating in a piano competition. Shes a great girl.

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