Limiting computer time

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2006
Limiting computer time
15
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 7:48am

How do you limit your teen's computer time?


My 12yo DD is following the path of her older sister with too much time on the computer and I want to nip it in the bud!


She comes home from school and immediately starts IMing. I give her some time to do this or to just relax after school and then she has to get to her homework. When it's time to start hw, she procrastinates and I have a hard time getting her off the pc. Every chance she gets, she will try to break from her hw and check out the pc. When she's done with hw she will spend as much time on it as possible and will do so until it's time for bed.


If she has hw that requires the use of the pc, she is constantly getting interrupted with IMing and does some herself. If I tell her to turn IM off, it only goes back on when I leave the room.


I can't turn it off because I work from home and need access to it as well.


Any thoughts or suggestions?

Photobucket

Pages

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 8:04am

We've stopped permitting all computer and gaming time M-Th (other than computer time for school) - ds14 is very dependable and although he's home 2 hours before we are, I honestly trust him (plus even if he did sneak it at that time, he still has adequate time from 5pm on to finish homework each night - I'm going to talk to dh about permitting the time before we get home so it's not a 'sneak'). He's had a rough go so far this year with tests (ongoing problem since late 4th grade that now the HS teachers finally want to help with) so is trying to learn how best to study (he's extremely visual-spatial and they don't teach that way). So we figure this will permit him to spend the necessary time without the temptation of 'when I finish HW, I can jump on (whatever system)'. He can get phone calls and such, but no 'screens' as his friend's mom calls it. Then he gets 4 hours/day on weekends (F-Su). We'll see how it works the rest of the semester.

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-1998
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 8:20am

My three big boys (16, 13, 10) get one-half hour of game time (their choice, computer or GameCube) on weekdays, and one hour (given in two half-hour segments unless they can convince me they need one hour in a single session to "level up" or whatever) on the weekends. They can play solitaire or pinball on the computer for short periods outside this gametime. Other than that, the computer is for homework, period. IM'ing is not allowed, but then, I don't think any of them want to.

They have never abused this. Every once in a while they whine that they have friends who can play video and computer games for hours on end. I ask them, "And do these friends have straight A's?" Of course not.

Elizabeth

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 8:45am

simple..
When you are not working, disconnect the computer(s) from the internet. It doesn't have to be connected 24/7. Have the administration of the computer (all computers) set to you or your husband. Password protect that account.
We did that with the TV when the kids were younger. It was on a timer that only DH & I knew how to operate.

If you don't know how to do it, arrange to have one of those "in house" computer services to come in & do a security audit. "Nerds on Site" (if you have them where you are) are great.

Also, she should not have a computer in her room. Put it in a central place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2006
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 9:41am

I have tried to password protect, but here's what happens:


I get them on the computer for hw and they sign on to IM. Even if they didn't sign on to IM, every time they move away from the computer for a few minutes, it goes back to the logon screen so I have to go back into the computer room to get them back on. It became a pain

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 10:06am
As inconvenient as it is for you - if you can't trust your dd to obey the rules - you should probably sit in there while she does homework.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 10:47am

I'm in agreement with Pam. Your DD isn't showing you a lot of respect by continuing to do things you have specifically told her not to do. I know in the big picture, it isn't life threatening or dangerous so it could be considered 'small stuff'. Down the road, however, she may not take more severe restrictions to heart because she hasn't suffered much in the way of consequences for the small stuff.

It's a pretty easy thing to disconnect the keyboard from the computer. When you don't want her on it, take the keyboard and put it somewhere else, your bedroom perhaps? When she is to be doing homework, you can plug it back in.

When she's allowed computer time for homework, let her know there will be no IMing or other PC 'fun' until you say so. Monitor her closely and if you find her doing something against your rules, there will be consequences that hurt (her, not you! You said in another post you have very social DD's. A weekend homebound will probably be very painful!) and then you need to follow through.

I've been thinking about this even before your post, because I can see my own DS of the same age going down this same road ... he is just getting into the IM thing, but fortunately only a couple of his buddies have jumped on the bandwagon, so not a lot of activity ... yet.

Hope this helps!

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 2:41pm

Re-installing IM back on after you took it off should have had a consequence, as it was disrespectful. I have the same problem as well. I was thinking of uninstalling IM myself, because I don't use it. DD says she talks to her friend that way rather than using her cellphone during peak times - whatever happened to talking on the land line, guess that's a thing of the past we will someday fondly refer to as "the good ol' days".

I am also going to figure out reasonable times for the internet to be on, and then disconect it the rest of the time. My problem is I can't seem to find a reasonable time for all concerned. Still working on it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 4:11pm
I disagree with you. I always played a lot of video games growing up and I ALWAYS had straight A's through higschool and college. In college I even played World Of Warcraft one of the most addicting games out there and I gradauted with honors.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2006
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 8:20am

In DD's defense, I have to say that I have been a bit lazy in enforcing limits on the pc. I plan to speak with her today and let her know what the rules and consequences are.


Thanks to all for the input and great ideas ~ it helps!!


Karen


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 9:09am
We have AOL and you can limit the amount of hours each day that each screen name can use the internet. There's lots of ways to monitor their activity. You can also not only limit the hours per day but the time of day. Also, AOL can give you a printout of all the sites visited by each screen logon name. They'll also alert you if anyone in your home is stepping into obscene or graphic e-mails.

Pages